NYDN: MTA Raising Fare to $2.50; Thankfully, Cutting Service As Well

NYT: E.U. Prez Calls U.S. Stimulus the 'Way to Hell, Wonders Why Disneyworld Trip Has Hit Snag

NYT: UN Officials Call Darfur Aid 'Tenuous', Barack Obama Bi-Racial

JTA: Netanyahu Call His Gov't "Partner for Peace"; Palestine Says, "Oh Word?"

WP: House Dems Slash $100B from Obama's Budget (Somebody Just Got Blacklisted…)

CNN: Report Sees 'Sobering Statistics' on Racial Inequality; Buzz Thought Obama Extincted Racism. Darnit.

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CNN: Jindal Defends Those Who Want Obama to Fail, Says Fail Club 'Could Use Another Colored Guy'

TNL: Mr. President, Your Speeches are Terrific. Your Pressers? Markedly Less Than Terrific

YT: It's A-Rod, Ms. Bonner. A-ROD.NYT: Obama Tries to Rally Nation to Agenda; Considers 'Rally Monkey', Says "Oh, Wait…"*

WP: Obama Sees 'Signs of Progress' In Economy; Has Very, Very, Very Good Vision

LAT: Mexican Drug Lords Turn Sights to Peru; Wish to Flip Birds in Macchu Picchu

USAT: In a 9/11 Commission Remix, Condi Sides with Bush; Agrees with Silence

VOA: Bashir Continues His Tour, Says "Man, My Country's Dead Anyway"*

TH: Specter Will Vote Against Employee Free Choice Act; Hopes Roger Goodell, New England Patriots Notice

BET: D.C. Mother, Sons Stabbed to Death by Live-in Boyfriend

CNN: Paid Your Rent on Time? Doesn't Matter if Your Landlord Doesn't

AJE: Labor Party Joins Israeli Coalition; Netanyahu Asks Someone to Fetch His Shinebox

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ESPN: Duke Women's Hoops Continue to Carry Torch Buffalo Bills Put Down in the 90s

*The 'Rally Monkey' was big during the Angels' World Series run in 2002.

*The quote is a satirical reference to the movie Swingers.