I've been thinking a lot about my ex lately. Do you believe there can ever be a point where exes have truly changed their ways, can really prove themselves and live happily ever after with the people they once treated poorly? --S.C.

Essentially, what you're asking is, if your life were Sex and the City, would Mr. Big ever become the guy who loves Carrie (that would be you) and treats her like the queen she's always been?

Not likely. People can change, of course, but unless there's some life-altering event like a religious conversion, kicking an addiction or getting over a serious illness, your ex isn't likely to have a "road to Damascus" moment. If the breakup and the aftermath didn't result in an aha moment that made that person realize he or she'd been taking you for granted, your ex is unlikely to do a 180-degree conversion months or years later and become the person you always envisioned he or she would be. That's most likely to happen on TV.

People grow, mature and get different perspectives on their relationship wrongdoings all the time, but it's usually when they are involved with someone else. The best you can hope for -- and don't hold your breath -- is an apology for what your ex put you through. That awakening often comes when exes are either in love with someone else who did to them what they did to you or are so blissfully happy that they want to erase their bad karma to keep the new relationship in tip-top condition.

Thirty-five percent of the 15,000 dating and relationship questions I've answered on Formspring are some form of "Do you think I should give my ex a second chance?" Especially around the holidays, people get to thinking about how their ex fit right in with the family at Thanksgiving, the thoughtful present on Christmas morning that proved he or she really "got" you, or the New Year's Eve celebration during which you looked across the room and wondered, "Is this really 'the One'?" and answered with a smile, "I think so."