And where was Rihanna's e-alter ego during all this? She was Instagramming Bible verses. "Be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you," read a highlighted portion of the Scripture she messaged to her 26.8 million followers.

Perhaps her friend Chris got the message, because his Twitter account has been deactivated. Yes, in this metaphor, Twitter is the devil.

Let's be clear: Like many of you and Jenny Johnson, I don't know Chris Brown personally. We've never met. I've never even seen him in person. But from what I do know -- his domestic violence arrest, chair throwing at Good Morning America, dressing up as a "terrorist" for Halloween, etc. -- I don't think we'd ever be close. And I'm pretty sure he's cool with that.

What's more disturbing for me isn't so much that Brown would tweet a woman he's never met such vile and disgusting things, but that a woman he'd never met seems to take it as a point of pride that she can eke out such a response. If you're admittedly gaining notoriety for antagonizing celebrities who behave badly, then is your behavior any better? From what I gather, Johnson doesn't regularly tweet about domestic violence hotlines, women's shelters or rehabilitation programs.

She isn't calling for the boycotting of the radio that plays Brown's records or the concert venues that showcase his performances. She's simply pointing to the bad guy, crying "ogre" or "bear," while the rest of us are supposed to scream and shout instead of building a fence to keep the baddies away.

So in this Twitter celebrity shouting match, both Johnson and Brown succeeded in moving the needle absolutely nowhere. Johnson will be held up by her fans as a champion for the cause of yelling "idiot" in a crowd of dummies, and Chris' #TeamBreezy extremists will get a shot in the arm for a day or two. But after all that, the whole situation still remains nuts -- just like when I wasted an hour Google-stalking Darren. I uncovered a new mug shot, but not much else.

Helena Andrews is a contributing editor at The Root and author of Bitch Is the New Black, a memoir in essays. Follow her on Twitter. 

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