#themonogamydebate

Author and journalist Farai Chideya asks her Tweet fam a few questions about relationships, marriage and monogamy. Answers in 140 characters or less.

 
Farai Chideya Asks About Monogamy, Marriage and Relationships on Twitter
Author and journalist Farai Chideya asks her Tweet fam a few questions about relationships, marriage and monogamy. Answers in 140 characters or less.

Author and journalist Farai Chideya asks her Tweet fam a few questions about relationships, marriage and monogamy. Answers in 140 characters or less.

<p>Author and journalist Farai Chideya asks her Tweet fam a few questions about relationships, marriage and monogamy. Answers in 140 characters or less.</p>

I have 3,800 Twitter followers and asked them if they would discuss issues of relationship and fidelity for publication. I asked these specific four questions:

Question 1: Is it really true that being rich, famous, a pro athlete changes the game so that a man MUST be expected to cheat?

Question 2: If men at the top of their game do get a pass for bad behavior, is it the women who are allowing/inspiring this behavior? Or men?

Question 3: Are most millennial/Gen X relationships today assumed to be transactional (I give/I get) vs. being based on unconditional love?

Question 4: Would you see viable alternatives to marriage or monogamy that would be more respectful than the cheater game. & they wld be..? .

Here are a few of the responses:

@StuMcDnld: Q1: No man should be EXPECTED to cheat. Especially a married man who has entered a covenant relationship w/ his wife.

@JayBevier: people cheat cuz they think they have game and will get away with it. When caught, its a lesson 2 step the game up

@primusluta: Q1: Anyone who cheats got married for the wrong reasons. Famous people have lots of wrong reasons at their disposal.

@primusluta: Q2: In an individualistic society people sacrifice family for self, but self MUST be sacrificed for family

@RadioMacGuru: Personally, do whatever you want w/ whoever you want but as soon as you get married or kids, be responsible

@KolaBoof: Men like a "challenge" & Romantic Women aren't all that challeng. Men say they're annoying. Tolerate 4Sex, leave

@primusluta: Q2: Our society places many things above the family hierarchically. Our social order is individualistic.

@RadioMacGuru: In reference to your 4th question theONLY alt to not cheating is to not get married, attached, get kids in the 1st place.

@BlackCanseco: played streetball + seen grown men offering -ish when we're 14, girls layin' it out @ 16 ... it's all downhill from there.

@GrrrlRomeo: Q1: From what I've heard, famous men (politicians/celebs) cheat because they feel special and rules don't apply to them.

@StuMcDnld: Q4: Without marriage/monogamy, in the long run, the society would fail to function properly.

@StuMcDnld: Q4: While some believe that we can't be monogamous, I think it's a cheaters lie. Love is not an emotion, it's a choice.

@lolaschild: repression gets a bad rap but it can be a productive power

@heLLobrOOklyn:: Q3) Relationships have never been about uncond'l love, though that wld be nice. People are more honest/clear now

@BlackCanseco: I've seen 18 yro top draft picks walk into 21+ clubs, get hit on by 30 yro women. But we're mad at them?

@RadioMacGuru: Open relationships can only lead to jealousy & breakup.

@StuMcDnld: Far 2 many Christians rush into marriage b/c they want sex & things SEEM right w/out truly examining thmslvs & their SO

@KolaBoof: "LOVE" is like "race"...majority of people don't honestly know what that is. Or its value/place. TV sells us GENERIC

@kokoesquire: TV is modern day colisseum or town square; we witness someone lynched or stoned or adorned with the scarlet letter

@GrrrlRomeo: People can be in love and committed without marriage. The functional purpose of marriage is responsibility.

@dcampell: monogamy was instituted by men to ensure the progeny were the true heirs to his fortune...very antiquated.

@StuMcDnld: .For me, a pre-nup will NEVER happen b/c it makes allowance for divorce. And that will under no circumstances happen.

@primusluta: Q4: Marriage and family are a lifetime work, not things to be understood through whimsical desire.

@dcampell: yes, [marriage] unnatural and enforced on women...polygamy/polyandry more natural...

@GrrrlRomeo: I feel a responsibility for my partner even though there's no contract to be.... However, the law & society says I'm not as responsible for her as a legal spouse would be.

@primusluta: Q3: unconditional love doesn't make a good marriage, the respect for your partner as you do yourself does.

@KeilaBee1: It's like they chill once they take vows instead of realizing that's when the grind really begins bc you have more to lose

@mrdaveyd: the solution is to get with someone who ain't phased by temptation & can appreciate companionship & values integrity

@BlackCanseco: When mailmen + teachers get famous, we'll read about their hoes, too.

@akaziaj: (Solutions) open marriage. Redefining marriage. A pill that makes you only attractive to your significant other.

Farai Chideya is an award-winning author and journalist. Follow her on Twitter.

 
 

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