That's the key to king and queen making--appreciation. See, I was all ready to slay Slim Thug's racist assertion that black women don't know how to treat their men as well as their white counterparts do, but a white girl did it for me. Aubrey O'Day, a deleted fraction of the now-defunct Danity Kane, wrote a succinct response to Mr. Thug.

''I'm a white girl that couldn't cook to save her life, treats no man like a king and certainly doesn't obey dictatorial male ego, even if it means my job ... but I certainly can cater to deserving men who are secure enough to take on the challenge of a strong woman.''

''It's not a black thing, or a white thing. It's a women thing,'' the pop diva/Playboy centerfold concluded. I would add that it's really a private thing, not to be discussed with every man--just yours.

Helena Andrews is a regular contributor to The Root and author of Bitch Is The New Black, a memoir in essays. Follow her on Twitter.

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