Obama Working the Late Show Shift
TRANSCRIPT of Obama's appearance last night on Jay Leno's comedy show.
MR. LENO: Oh, yeah. See, I still get the little wings when I fly.
MR. OBAMA: So you have the jacket. I will tell you, though, Malia and Sasha, my daughters, they're just not as impressed. The first time we went on Marine One -– right, you've got the Marines in front and they're saluting you. And we go up and we're passing the Washington Monument, circling around on the way to Camp David –- and Sasha looks over and she says, "Are those Starbursts?" (Laughter.) There's, like, the candy in the little canister. (Laughter.) That's –- "Can we have some?" (Laughter.)
So they're splitting up the Starbursts and we're flying over the Lincoln Memorial. So they got a whole 'nother level of cool. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: Now, are they going to put a basketball –- I imagine the bowling alley has been just burned and closed down.
MR. OBAMA: No, no. I have been practicing all –- (laughter.)
MR. LENO: Really? Really?
MR. OBAMA: I bowled a 129. (Laughter and applause.)
MR. LENO: No, that's very good. Yes. That's very good, Mr. President.
MR. OBAMA: It's like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: No, that's very good.
MR. OBAMA: No, listen, I'm making progress on the bowling, yes.
MR. LENO: And how about, are you going to put in a basketball court?
MR. OBAMA: Oh, yes. Yes. Well, we have a basketball court already at Camp David. We just had a little rim that was inadequate
–- (laughter) –- at the White House. But there are tennis courts, so we’re going to just get those –- you know, those rims that you can roll in and out. And then we’ll just put them on either –-
MR. LENO: Let me ask you, when people –- Mr. President, would you like to play? Yes, I would. Do they throw the game? Come on. (Laughter and applause.)
MR. OBAMA: I don’t see why they would throw the game -- except for all those Secret Service guys with guns around. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: Yes, exactly.
MR. OBAMA: I will say that I don't think I get the hard fouls that I used to. Usually I don't –-
MR. LENO: Yes, Reggie goes, ohhh, I missed, ohhh. (Laughter.)
MR. OBAMA: Reggie doesn't do that. This is Reggie Love, my assistant. He played for Duke, very competitive guy. He doesn't let me win because, as he pointed out, if you lose to Obama you never hear the end of it. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: See, there you go. Now, have you picked a final four?
MR. OBAMA: I did.
MR. LENO: Okay. How about your final one, who do you got?
MR. OBAMA: I got North Carolina Tar Heels. (Applause.)
MR. LENO: North Carolina.
MR. OBAMA: I think I got –- I got a hard time from Reggie, because he played at Duke, and you know, Coach K, being competitive, I think was a little –- you know, pushed back a little bit today. And I understand that. That's what you want. You want everybody to be competitive. I think these are all great teams.
MR. LENO: Like, do you look at the whole picture when you do that? For example, isn’t that a swing state? (Laughter and applause.) I'm just saying, are you looking at the whole picture when you pick?
MR. OBAMA: I mean, the fact that teams from North Carolina, Indiana, Iowa, all seem to do well in my bracket –- (laughter) –- I think is a complete coincidence. Absolutely.
MR. LENO: All right, one last question. Now, when is the dog coming? I keep hearing about the dog. It seems to me –- when was the dog supposed to be there by? I thought it was, like, as soon as --
MR. OBAMA: Listen, this is Washington –- (laughter) –- that was a campaign promise. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: Oh, wow. Wow. Man. (Laughter and applause.)
MR. OBAMA: I'm teasing. The dog will be there shortly. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: How soon?
MR. OBAMA: We have actually sort of been laying the groundwork here. We’ve got a trip, I've got to go to the NATO summit. When we get back, dog will be in place.
MR. LENO: Wow. And it's, what, a Portuguese water head? (Laughter.) What is it, what kind of dog is it?
MR. OBAMA: It's not that. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: It's not that.
MR. OBAMA: It's not a "water head." (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: Whatever they are, I don't know what they are.
MR. OBAMA: That sounds like a scary dog. (Laughter.) Sort of dripping around the house. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: I don't know what it is.
MR. OBAMA: No, no. We're going to get a dog that is –- that I think the girls will have a great time –- I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with it. You know, they say if you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. (Laughter.)
MR. LENO: Exactly. Mr. President, I must say, this has been one of the best nights of my life. Thank you very much, sir.
President of the United States. (Applause.)