Black people aren't the only ones worried about embarrassing themselves now that Obama is president-elect. Here are a few pointers for white people.

1. Don't personally congratulate all your black friends.

Black people are not a sports team, and Obama did not win the Super Bowl.

2. Don't declare that you "never thought you'd see the day."

You never thought you'd see the day?

3. Don't start crossing the street in order to walk next to a black person.

President Obama is glad you support racial reconciliation, but he takes a hard line against jaywalking.

4. Don't name drop "Dr. King."

If you absolutely must make some comment about how this is a victory for civil rights, pick a marginally less obvious figurehead.

5. Don't use the phrase "white people" in any way that suggests it doesn't include you.

Contrary to popular belief, having voted for Obama does not make you even "semi-down." Sorry if there was any confusion there.

Christopher Beam is a Slate political reporter.

Chris Wilson is Slate's editorial assistant in Washington, D.C.