Are Long-Distance Relationships Worth It?Ask Demetria: They don't always work out, but there are things you can do to stay connected. |
Similar to the first tip, having a date to look forward to when you will see your significant other is imperative. If you haven't seen your partner in months and don't know when you will, it's easy to let his or her importance diminish, either as a protective mechanism or because you genuinely lose interest while you're doing something -- or someone -- else and pondering like Babyface: "When will I see you again?"
Rely on Technology
The only reason I'm not adamantly against LDRs is the existence of Skype, FaceTime, BBM (don't count out the BlackBerry just yet) and voice messaging. The video-calling services are the closest thing to having someone in the room with you, while messaging services are like texting but a million times better.
I once dated a guy from Philly, well beyond the 45-minute rule. Rushing home, or finding a quiet space to “see” him, never compared to actually seeing him, but it was better than a phone call, and it felt like he was "with me" just before or during important moments. He won me over when he sent me a prayer to play before my first major TV interview. I played it before each one after that, at least until we broke up. Nice touch.
Get Old-Fashioned, Too
Penmanship be damned, there's nothing like a letter arriving in the mailbox. Since we all tend to be expressive when we write, it's an opportunity to let the sweet nothings flow. And since scent is such a powerful sense, spritz the paper with the cologne or perfume you wore the last time you were together, whether that was literally or figuratively.
Travel Somewhere Other Than Where Each of You Lives
You'll soon tire of traveling, especially if you're seeing the same city over and over or constantly playing tour guide. Get out of a rut by planning a getaway with your partner somewhere neither of you has been before but you're both eager to explore.
Good luck!
Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root, and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at askdemetria@theroot.com.
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