Are Long-Distance Relationships Worth It?
Ask Demetria: They don't always work out, but there are things you can do to stay connected.
Maybe things would be different if both parties were in the same state, but they're not. If long distance is the way you want to go, get on board with the idea of an open relationship. Pretending to be monogamous just adds a layer of deceit and imagination to an already inconvenient situation.
Maybe I just know shiesty people. Admittedly, folks don't call me to say how well their relationships are going, and perhaps the negativity I hear so often taints my perception. I acknowledge that there are people who don't cheat and are loyal, and that some long-distance relationships work and even result in marriages.
There's hope for the optimists. Here's how to swing the odds further in your favor.
Have an End Date
This is built in when one partner moves for grad school or heads off to "be all she can be." But when it's a move for a job, the time you spend on Skype and phone calls -- or traveling -- for your relationship can extend (or drag on) forever.
In the beginning it's fun to have an adventure visiting a new city or returning to your old one. But that gets old quick, especially when you have things to do on the weekend -- like errands or hanging with friends -- and you're scheduled to be out of town. Living out of a suitcase becomes more bearable when you know it won't go on forever.
It's a catch-22. You have stuff to do on the weekends, and traveling loses its luster fast. But you also need as much actual face time with your partner as possible to make a long-distance relationship feasible for the long haul. There's a popular saying that goes, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." There's also another, equally repeated one: "Out of sight, out of mind."