Print
Email
Evidently the fallen pop star didn't get the "boys don't hit girls" lesson when he was a child. That shouldn't stop us from teaching him now.
Read the washingtonpost.com Live Online discussion on CHRIS BROWN'S MISSING PRESCHOOL LESSON with The Root's Lisa Crooms.
*****
My son Joel fancies himself a crooner. Over the holidays, he would sing into the shampoo bottle in the bathroom, belting out “This Christmas” with his eyes closed, like he was headlining a concert. So as I put together my seasonal iPod playlist, I included Donny Hathaway’s classic version as a little gift for my 9-year-old aspiring singer. When I played it, he asked, “Who’s that singing Chris Brown’s song?” I was incredulous. “What do you mean Chris Brown’s song? Donny Hathaway sang “This Christmas” long before Chris Brown’s mama ever thought about him.” Joel responded, “Well, the things that were cool when you were young aren’t cool anymore. Could you please download Chris Brown and put my song on your iPod?” I got over it, paid the 99 cents and added Chris Brown to my playlist.
Beyond noting that Brown had a Wrigley’s Gum commercial, Joel and I hadn’t really talked about him since the holidays. Until last Monday morning. During our 25-minute ride across town to his school, we found ourselves listening to “The Steve Harvey Morning Show” crew lamenting about Chris Brown and Rihanna. “Mommy, what happened to Chris Brown?” Joel asked. I shushed him so we could both hear the story. Chris Brown was in police custody because of a domestic dispute involving an unidentified woman everyone assumed was his boo, Rihanna.
I turned down the volume on the radio and asked, “So Joel, is there a problem with the story you just heard?” “Yes,” he said. “Boys should never hit girls.” He learned that lesson more than six years earlier when we were living in Jamaica, and I picked him up from day care to find that he had been in a fight with a little girl who hit him. His internal sense of justice was offended because I didn’t care to hear his side of the story. Hitting a girl was unacceptable, I told him, even if she hit him first. I took away his television privileges. I made him apologize to her. He never hit a girl again.
We hadn’t revisited the hitting issue since 2003, so I was prepared to have a fairly lengthy conversation about what allegedly happened between Chris and Rihanna. But Joel’s succinct response convinced me that there was no need to dwell on it. As details of the alleged assault have come out over the past week, I’ve been more concerned about having to explain STDs and booty calls than having to reinforce the basic lesson about not hitting girls. I have also looked for some sign of remorse from Brown—some evidence that at some point in his 19 years, his mother told him the same thing I told Joel when he was 3. Unfortunately, all I’ve heard are excuses and a failure to take some responsibility for what happened between him and the woman to whom he reportedly gave a 20-carat diamond ring.
Last Tuesday, when details emerged about Rihanna’s injuries, the media projected blame onto Brown’s reportedly abusive stepfather. The next day, we heard that Rihanna was the one who started the blowup, after she read a text message to Brown from another woman. He first threatened to kill her, we heard, after she threw the keys to his rented Lamborghini out of the car window. The next day, we learned that it might not have been the first time Brown hit her.
Evidently, while Joel and I were revisiting our “boys don’t hit girls” lesson in the car that morning after the attack, other parents either punted entirely or used their talk to convey very different messages. The avalanche of contradictory messages makes me wonder if that lesson I drilled into Joel when he was 3 can be unlearned. I think of what he told me back at Christmas: “Well, the things that were cool when you were young aren’t cool anymore.” Chris Brown won out over Donny Hathaway on my playlist. I’ll be damned if he’ll win this one, at least not in my house.
Lisa Crooms is a professor at Howard University School of Law.
Read the washingtonpost.com Live Online discussion on CHRIS BROWN'S MISSING PRESCHOOL LESSON with The Root's Lisa Crooms.
Comments
All of our fake Louis Vuitton Outlet are made to look and feel just like the originals. No one will be able to tell you’re carrying one of our fake Louis Vuitton Sale, because our imitation Louis Vuitton Online Saleare identical to the real thing.
Louis Vuitton Antigua Cabas MM with White Pinstripe Replica M40132 On Sale - Cheap Louis Vuitton Wallets,Handbags,Bags,Purses Shop Outlet Louis Vuitton Suhali Leather Lingenieux PM Replica M91805 RED On Sale - Cheap Louis Vuitton Wallets,Handbags,Bags,Purses Shop Outlet Louis Vuitton Antigua Cabas PM with White Pinstripe Replica M40134 On Sale - Cheap Louis Vuitton Wallets,Handbags,Bags,Purses Shop Outlet
I never buy from discount louis vuitton, the price is expensive and I always bought online.
Hi, everybody here, I just spent more than 1000 USD in louie vuitton and bought one gift for my wife, I think it’s worth and the bag drives my wife crazy.
Anybody knows the numbers of louis vuitton outlet in CA, I need to call them and get my bag repaired
tiffany co
tiffany jewellery
Tiffany and Co Cheap Jewelry Stores,Buy Tiffany's Jewelry in Australiaitle
Buy Jewelry Anyway, Why Not Select Tiffany Co
Tiffany&Co Metropolis Men's cuff
Tiffany&Co Numeric BAR Bracelet
Tiffany&Co NATURE Daisy Cuff Bracelet
Tiffany&Co Two Hearts Triple Bangle
Tiffany&Co Open Numeric Round Toggle Bracelet
Tiffany Replica Jewellery is Worthy of Purchase As Well
Why Tiffany Jewelry Deserves One's Love
Tiffany&Co Lock Set
Tiffany&Co Engraved HEART TAG Choker
Tiffany&Co 3 OPEN HEART Necklace
Tiffany&Co 18K Gold Plated CROSS Pendant
Tiffany&Co Refine Stone Eternity Wedding Band Ring
Tiffany&Co Refine Stone Wedding Band Ring
Tiffany&Co Orchid Drop Earrings
Tiffany&Co Engraved Round Tag Toggle Bracelet
I love it when men whine and cry about how women beat up on them while talking about how they can't be hit because they're women. This is the equivalent to that black person who always cries racism to get his way - that is, she doesn't exist. Now, you have a FEW women who are crazy enough to pull that garbage, but fellas keep her around because her brain game is lovely. Hell, you probably knew she was crazy BEFORE you got with her, but you didn't care because she could make a mean bowl of mac n'cheese. So please, spare us your whining when you try to defend your manly right to crack a woman's jaw. If my guy hit me today, I'd be out of here tonight. Men should consider the same plan of action.
Too many girls have drawn the wrong message from the "Don't hit girls" sentiment, and take it as a license to hit boys with impunity. I survived an abusive relationship, so I am not unsympathetic to the victims of abuse, but I do not delude myself into thinking it's solely an issue of males hurting females. I am the mother of a boy, and I am very concerned about the number of times girls have been violent toward my son and his friends, while taunting the boys that they can't hit girls. And the reaction of the schools and summer camps to this has been underwhelming (although if the boys do retaliate physically then the boys' punishment is swift and severe).
Rather than concerning ourselves with the gender of the instigator and victim, we need to promote a consistent message that violence is wrong. Period.
I'm PRAYING that you are NOT a brotha, talking this nonsense.
Now folks who've read my posts KNOW I love and support my people...but...I'm the first to admit that abuse is a real issue in our community...man on woman, woman on man...too many of us resort to using our fists to resolve issues. Some AA folks need intense and extensive therapy to resolve anger issue. Honestly, the nonsense I heard and still hear..."lawd, we don't NEED no therapy, all we NEED is JESUS..." not to be disrespectful to my Christian brothas and sistas...is the stupidest...crap...I've ever heard.
As for not calling the police...as much as I love my husband, if he ever put his hands on me...I'm callin' po-po...packing my bags, taking my boys, and heading for parts unknown.
have daughters, and would like for a man to beat their daughter's ass the way Chris Brown did.
I think most people here are missing the point...this goes far beyond teaching boys that its not nice to hit girls, and teaching girls not to anger boys.
What we SHOULD be teaching our children...boys AND girls...is that it is a dysfunctional, emotionally disturbed person who handles anger by resorting to physical attacks, and that they don't have to tolerate such abuse. I will teach my sons that the FIRST time a woman puts her hands on them, do not remain in that relationship. LEAVE.
Violence is wrong, no matter who is committing the act, no matter how you look at it.
But take a look at this: http://wesupportchrisandrobyn.blogspot.com/
Whoever wrote this to these kids has definitely opened my eyes to the way themedia is awfully handling this situation. I'm definitely praying for them. You guys should take a look and pray as well.
...when anyone (male or female) promotes a double-standard that doesn't hold women AND men EQUALLY responsible for their actions.
I have 3 sistas by blood...and as much as I love and care for them, not a one a' them can ever admit when they're wrong. Your posts remind me a' them, stargazer08, and they' demonstrate exactly why A LOT of brothas n' sistas don't get along, related or not.
Whether you are for or against "the views mainstream of Black society" (sic) isn't the issue here. Using the same faulty logic you've applied in this case, then one could make an "argument" against equal pay for equal work jus' b'cuz men currently are still more economically powerful than most women. How ig'nant iz THAT?!
More and more women are recognizin' n' utilizin' their inherent n' developin' power...n' I say mo' power to them (n' us all). Whether you choose to join them or not, you won't get far in this new millenium slingin' that same ol' wrongheaded thinkin' that got us where we are now in the first place.
http://theblackwhole.wordpress.com/
--TBW
Why shoudln't she have called the police?
Chris Brown beat her up!!! .