President Donald Trump holds an African-American History Month listening session attended by then-nominee to lead the Department of Housing and Urban Development Ben Carson (right), Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison Omarosa Manigault (left), among others, at the White House Feb. 1, 2017, in Washington, D.C. (Michael Reynolds-Pool/Getty Images)

It isn’t that hard to understand. Like all slave masters before him, President Shitty McShitFace’s relationship with black folks works like this: If you are a black woman, are you hot? If so, then Donald Trump—when he was single—would’ve dated you. If you are a black man, do you have money or power? If so, Trump will leach off you as long as you provide some form of comeuppance for him or his brand. If not, he doesn’t need you.

It isn’t so much that Trump is racist, which I totally believe him to be; it’s that he’s a narcissistic opportunist, or at least that’s what I gathered from a recently published New York Times article that attempted to flush out Trump’s convoluted relationship with “the blacks.”

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It starts with Kara Young, a biracial model Trump stole from then-friend and celebrity reporter A.J. Benza. Young, who dated President AssFace Von ShitStain some 20 years ago, claims that during her time with Trump, she didn’t know him to be a racist who supported white supremacist ideology.

“That was not my experience,” Young told the New York Times. Young did add that she was “horrified” to hear the president’s comments where he compared protesters against hate to the whites rallying for it after the terrorist attack on Charlottesville, Va., that left one woman dead and numerous others injured.

While Young claimed that the two didn’t talk much about race or culture, she noted that Trump was shocked to see so many blacks at the U.S. Open featuring Venus and Serena Williams.

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“We went to the U.S. Open once, and a lot of black people came because it was Venus and Serena,” she said, the New York Times reports. “He was impressed that a lot of black people came to the U.S. Open because they were playing.”

Trump apparently didn’t believe that black people watched tennis or would care enough to actually attend.

And, of course, there was Katrina Pierson—the black defender of Trump before it was cool and the Kellyanne Conway of Trump’s campaign before we knew who Conway was—to come to Trump’s defense.

Pierson told the Times that her hiring was proof that President Colostomy Bag Face was no racist because she, a single mother, was hired to be his national spokesman.

“A racist does not pick a single black mother to represent his entire freaking presidential campaign,” Pierson said. “A racist would not endorse Jesse Jackson’s presidential campaign in the ’80s twice. A racist would also not spend his time and his resources to bring African Americans into Wall Street.”

But, alas, one contention emerged in the story that I find to represent the spine of Trump’s relationship with African Americans, and that’s whether or not befriending a black person is beneficial to him.

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“He judges people by what kind of deal he can make with them,” Abe Wallach, a former Trump Organization executive, told the Times. “That’s his god.”

Read more at the New York Times.