This Beverly Hillbillies administration can’t do anything right. Currently, we are kind of at war with Syria. We still don’t know if Russia hacked the election, except, we totally know that Russia hacked the election. The president is still playing more golf than presidenting, and now it looks like he and his team are about to ruin Easter.
According to a well-researched and reported investigative piece by the New York Times on the White House Easter Egg Roll, a 138-year-old celebration, President Vladimir TrumPutin and his minions don’t know what the hell they are doing and are most likely going to slap some po-dunk-ass party together at the last minute.
It started back in February when Wells Wood Turning, the company responsible for providing the wooden eggs for the Easter Egg Roll on the White House lawn, sent a Twitter message to the president, first lady and first freeloader Ivanka letting them all know that deadlines were approaching.
The White House really hadn’t made much mention of it, since it was busy lying about everything from Russia’s bedroom in the basement to Barack Obama wiretapping Trump Tower.
“It’s the single most-high-profile event that takes place at the White House each year, and the White House and the first lady are judged on how well they put it on,” Melinda Bates, who organized eight years of Easter Egg Rolls as director of the White House Visitors Office under President Bill Clinton, told the Times. “I’m really concerned for the Trump people because they have failed to fill some really vital posts, and this thing is all-hands-on-deck.”
In March the White House announced that it would be on. Wells Wood Turning started busting out a shit ton of wooden eggs, and everything seemed to be moving in the right direction. Except the White House Easter Egg Roll usually has Sesame Street stars all across the lawn because kids love them and they love kids.
Well, you know who doesn’t love kids? President TrumPutin. He hates kids so much, he wants to get rid of PBS—you know, the home of Sesame Street. It’s so awkward, only one unconfirmed Sesame Street star is going to be at the White House Easter Egg Roll.
The New York Times explains the clusterfuck as a total mess:
The late start in planning by the Trump White House points to a smaller and less ambitious egg roll than in previous years. There may be half as many guests, a fraction of the number of volunteers to manage the invasion of the South Lawn, and military bands in place of A-list entertainers like Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Idina Menzel and Silentó who have performed for Egg Rolls past.
Maybe TrumPutin planned to move the Easter Egg Roll to Mar-a-Largo, since he spends more time there putzing around than in the White House working. I hope for the children’s sake that the White House can pull this together, but more importantly, I really hope that Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer dresses up as the Easter Bunny again.
Read more at the New York Times.