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Piers Morgan Is Allowed to Say ‘Nigga’ if We’re Allowed to Smack the Pumpkin Spice out of Him When He Does

Caucasoid Pez dispenser dipped in a vat of rancid Hellmann’s Piers Morgan asked and answered the world’s most disingenuous question yesterday in a column that addressed a clip of University of New Hampshire sorority girls singing along to Kanye West’s “Gold Digger.” Morgan, a flaccid portmanteau of Alfred from Batman…

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17 Wishes for 2017

If I squint with my good eye and drink something potent out of a red Solo cup, 2016 doesn’t seem so bad—from an entertainment perspective, anyway. So, as we move forward into the new year, here are some things I’d very much like to see. That is to say, if 2017 doesn’t end early because a nuclear apocalypse initiated…