There are certain weeks in history when you just don’t want to test black folks’ patience. These weeks include but are not limited to:

Jan. 23-30, 1977: The week that Roots originally aired.

April 29-May 4, 1992: The week four officers were acquitted of beating Rodney King.

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Aug. 12-19, 2017: The week white nationalists attacked the city of Charlottesville, Va., and President Donald Trump gives them a virtual high-five for it.

So it stands to reason that when a pair of white high school girls from New Jersey—who just happened to be touring Washington, D.C., and just happened to be wearing “Make America Great Again” hats and Trump shirts—just happened to walk onto Howard University’s very black campus, something was about to happen.

According to “Allie Vandee” on Twitter, this happened ...

allie_vandee/Twitter
allie_vandee via Twitter

So a couple of things about this story don’t pass the smell test.

“Today we visited Howard University for lunch.”

Hold up, wait a minnit.

Who goes to visit Howard University for lunch? Out of all the places you can go in D.C.—heck, out all the places you can go on 14th and Georgia avenues—why in the hell would you go to Howard’s cafeteria, or any college cafeteria, for lunch? I have visited friends, family members and various business partners on Howard’s campus, and not once have they suggested, “Let’s eat on campus.” So I’m immediately calling b.s. on these blond-haired academic ingenues’ story. They went to Howard, dressed in “MAGA” hats and Trump shirts, to start trouble.

The next telltale sign of b.s. comes soon after: “While we were waiting in line not knowing that Howard is a predominately ‘black’ school, which either way SHOULDN’T MATTER.”

Just stop, please stop.

First, anyone reading this post is supposed to believe that you saw the hottest Yelp review in the world about Howard’s cafeteria on a Saturday (which everyone knows is the worst day on campus for cafeteria food) and just had to go in your best “MAGA” finery? Then, that you were on a tour, with adult chaperones, and you had no idea that Howard was an HBCU until you got in line, even though that didn’t matter? Allie needs more people, preferably those who are willing to tell her to put the victim crack pipe down and find another campus to troll.

Needless to say, Howard students were not amused.

Perhaps learning from the public relations nightmare that was Education Secretary Besty DeVos’ surprise visit last spring, Howard sprang into action, defending its students’ right to be hostile.

It’s not nice that somebody on Howard’s campus took this teen’s hat. It’s also not nice that someone cursed at the women. But you know what’s even less nice? Two ignorant young women with no home training deciding to antagonize a campus full of students less than a week after the president of the United States co-signed terrorist violence against the people of Charlottesville, Va. Then, as is the wont of their type, they attempted to make themselves social media victims instead of the provocateurs that they are.

I’m sure they, and whoever their mysterious “tour guide” was, will be on Fox News by Monday evening to tell their harrowing tale of danger. In the meantime, congratulations to the Howard student body for weeding out two young women who obviously lacked the intellectual acumen and social graces to become future Bison. And if they think the perfect ending to a tour of Washington, D.C., is a school cafeteria, they probably aren’t really college material.