Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau speaks alongside Ivanka Trump (center) and Dawn Farrell, president and CEO of TransAlta Corp., during a roundtable discussion on female entrepreneurs and business leaders at the White House on Feb. 13, 2017. (Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images)

As it stands, Ivanka Trump has no official role in her father’s administration. She wasn’t voted into office, she wasn’t gifted an official title, and yet there she is, in the White House next to her father in confidential meetings with heads of state. And there she is staring lustfully at Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

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Now the news is that Ivanka—yes, the daughter of Vladimir TrumPutin—is set to get an office in the West Wing, and security clearance.

Why???!!!

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No seriously, why!!!???

Unless someone in the White House has an emergency hem issue or wants to know how to dress up like Paddington Bear (never forget that Kellyanne Conway went to TrumPutin’s inauguration dressed as Paddington Bear; never), what the fuck is she doing here? (And that last statement isn’t sexist. Unless Ivanka Trump has some secret set of policy skills that I’m unaware of, I only know her to be the daughter of a rich man whose father gifted her a clothing line that makes really shitty basics and loungewear.)

By “here” I mean in the White House next to the administration that was elected into office (albeit by Middle America, former and current Ku Klux Klansmen, and those who openly hated on the Obama administration).

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Has anyone told the TrumPutins that this isn’t The Apprentice? And you don’t just get to consistently bring your daughter to work during your term? Don’t any of our elected officials see this as a problem? Is anyone speaking out about this? When I saw the photo of her in a meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, I was completely confused.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel (center), with Ivanka Trump (left center), speaks during a roundtable discussion on vocational training with U.S. and German business leaders, led by President Donald Trump, in the Cabinet Room of the White House on March 17, 2017. (Pat Benic-Pool/Getty Images)

Why isn’t anyone asking why she’s there? (And don’t think she isn’t there; she’s always there. Her husband is one of TrumPutin’s top advisers.) At this point Ivanka is starting to seem like Brother Man from the fifth floor—she’s always in the White House, always in the photos and always near the policymakers—but let’s get this clear: She shouldn’t be.

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She is a civilian with civilian interests. She has her own family, and at this point, given the amount of real estate between her husband’s family and her family, she should have her own house. She’s a business owner who can profit from these meetings, and she’s going to have an office in the West Wing.

In my best Childish Gambino voice I say, “Stay woke!” There’s a lot going on with this administration. FBI Director James Comey has confirmed that the agency is investigating TrumPutin’s ties to Russia; he also confirmed what we’ve all suspected: that there is no evidence President Barack Obama tapped TrumPutin’s Tower.

But make no mistake: Ivanka Trump is moving into the White House, is meeting with top leaders and is allowed access to classified material, and she will have security clearance. And she has no official role in the White House.

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So again I ask, WTF is she doing there?!