I’m so tired of Sarah and Peaus and the stink they’re leaving all over this show that I’m going to spell “Payus” differently every time I type it. No respect intended. The good news is that this week’s Scandal episode appears to bring us one step closer to getting rid of these two clowns once and for all.
At the top of the episode, Attorney General David Rosen announces that Cyrus Beene is innocent of all charges related to Frankie Vargas’ murder, which means that, if the electors vote for him, Cyrus could become the country’s next president.
Of course, Olivia Pope has decided that getting Cyrus into the White House is the white-hat thing to do, so she advises Mellie Grant to concede. But Mellie isn’t willing to give up that easily, especially after Elizabeth North returns from wherever she’s been to successfully talk Mellie out of listening to Olivia.
With Mellie and Olivia at odds, Olivia decides to represent Cyrus, but he won’t let her into his hotel room. After all, she told him that she would never speak to him again and left him for dead.
Never content to leave terrible enough alone, Olivia coordinates a press conference with Vargas’ widow to endorse Cyrus, but her father begs her to stop. He reiterates to her that Sarah and Peabody want Mellie in the Oval Office, and they’ll kill both Olivia and her father if they don’t get their way. Nonetheless, Olivia continues on with the interview in which Vargas’ widow petitions America to allow Cyrus to take his rightful place as president.
The next thing you know, Cyrus’ estranged husband, Michael, gives a national interview in which he calls Cyrus a liar, cheater, manipulator, user, absentee father, neglectful husband—not to mention a Trump supporter and everything but a child of God. Olivia suspects that her father was behind it.
After Michael’s interview, Fitz Grant visits Cyrus and reminds him that he offered him the presidency the night of Vargas’ assassination and it’s still his. So now Cyrus gives a press conference where he says he hopes to be president, and despite the fact that he hasn’t always been a good man, he will strive to honor Vargas’ legacy.
Well, Sarah and Payback don’t like that. So Elizabeth, who—surprise!—is working for those two goons, lures Mellie into a meeting with them, where they tell her she’s their Trojan horse. That means she’ll be their way into the White House, and she will be the president, but they will be in charge because she will fear them. ... How do they know know? Because, moments later, Sarah bludgeons Elizabeth to death with a fire iron.
Can we get a moment of silence for Elizabeth North? Poor thing. Her tombstone will read, “She Died Trying.”
With that out of the way, Sarah tells Mellie that a) they’ve bribed all of the electors to vote for her, b) she (Sarah) will be her new chief of staff and (c) if Mellie alerts the authorities or tries to cede the presidency to Cyrus, “we will kill your children.” See what I’m saying? These guys have made things too dark, and that’s saying something for a show whose lead character literally has to wear a white hat from time to time to remind herself that she’s not just a murderer, liar and cheater.
Elsewhere in Washington, Fitz’s current fling, FBI Director Angela Webster, tells Fitz that she has a warrant out for Olivia’s arrest based on evidence that suggests she paid Tom Larsen to kill Vargas so that Mellie could get into the White House. Girlfriend, you’re playing with fire—the fire that burns for Liv in Fitz’s heart.
Mellie calls Olivia over to explain what happened to Elizabeth and relay what Sarah and Peyote told her. After surveying the damage, Olivia goes to see Fitz while Jake stays behind to clean up the mess in Mellie’s office. ... That mess includes Mellie.
Fitz warns Olivia that Angela is filing a warrant for her arrest. Olivia is still concerned with getting Cyrus into the White House, but Fitz is concerned with keeping Olivia out of prison for a crime her father committed. “Don’t you see?” he proclaims. “I could lose you forever!” Olivia makes it clear that if he has her father arrested for Vargas’ murder, he’ll still lose her.
But Fitz is gonna Fitz. First he has Angela removed from the case. Byeee! Then he has Papa Pope arrested, and when Olivia stomps up to Fitz ready for a fight, Fitz coolly replies that he had Papa Pope taken into custody ... his custody. Cut to Papa Pope sitting, safe and sound, in the Oval Office. Phew. Then he says that their next order of business is taking down Punk. Well, actually, that’s their second order of business because, first things first, Olivia melts into Fitz’s face, and they find the nearest room to go do what lovers do.
And just like that, I’m back on the Olitz train, and I hate myself for it.
Oh, and while all of this is happening, the electors vote for Mellie to become the next president of the United States!
So Mellie’s headed to the White House, and Olivia and Fitz are back together. I’m actually OK with this sequence of events. Now, if they could just hurry up and get rid of Sarah and Please-Go-Away, because I’m so over them.