Some elementary school pranks, like boys pulling girls' hair, seem harmless, but as these boys become teenagers, the actions escalate. As Mychal Denzel Smith writes at Ebony [5], he didn't fully grasp the consequences of his actions, which he assumed were playful, until he was nearly a grown man.
I [pulled hair] until I hit high school and decided that was for children and I graduated to the new pleasure of grabbing a handful of a girl's butt. This wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world had I been romantically linked to any of these girls and they welcomed it. But in all honesty, I was just a horny little teenager with grabby hands. I wasn't concerned about permission, and neither were any of my peers that doubled as cheering section.
It wasn't until I was on the cusp of adulthood and attending more parties that I started questioning this behavior. When the music's blasting and young men decide they want to dance with a young lady, the customary means of asking is to plant themselves behind the woman of their choice and thrusting their genitals into her backside. Most of the looks I could discern on these girl-turned-women's faces landed somewhere between reluctant acquiescence and total discomfort. It was the first time I had ever considered the way women might feel about having control over their own bodies. I was around 19 or 20.
I can't speak to how common my experience is, but it shouldn't take that long for anyone to learn that women have a right to their own bodies. But where is anyone going to intervene when we've written off the behaviors described above as “boys will be boys” without questioning whether that's a healthy starting point?
Read Mychal Denzel Smith's entire piece at Ebony [5].
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