NEWS STAND: Steele Trouble, South Africa Heats Up, Flying While Brown

The latest headlines with our unique spin.

Hey Michael Steele: Republicans Want Accountability at RNC

Now that a brother's in charge, Republicans want accountability? Riddle me this, Michael Steele wasn't at the strip club, but should be held responsible for his idiotic colleagues. For all of this trouble, Steele should have gone with them and gotten a lap dance. Cue the theme music from the Fall Guy.

White Supremacists in South Africa Declare War on Blacks Because of White Supremacist's Murder

Are they taking pointers from the Tea Party? Since they based their system of Apartheid on Jim Crow, we guess it's not a stretch that white Supremacists in South Africa would be taking their cues on terrorism from the United States. Do we need to rethink our trip to the World Cup?

Flying While Black and Brown: 'Personal Traits' To Be Used To Screen U.S.-bound Air Passengers

Pakistanis, Africans, Saudis, Cubans, and Iranians, oh my! First there was driving while black and brown, now there's flying while black and brown. We guess rapper Mos Def was right about getting over-seized while overseas. Are we living in Oz or something? Over here at The Root, we're a little concerned about the white supremacists here in the United States declaring war on us. Any plans to do something about that?

Tiger Woods Is Still Talking, And Talking, And talking

Our question is why? The man is an extremist, going from radio silence to diarrhea of the mouth. Apologizing to your kid's school and now fellow golfers? We're sure that none of them have groupies or have ever cheated on their wives. Oh, but wait, golf legend Greg Norman cheated on, oops, left his wife for Chris Everett (who also divorced her then-husband) a few years ago and little was said of it. If the mistress is a married former tennis champion, it's OK?  Enough with the boot-licking Tiger. We get it. You're sorry you cheated on a white woman that you weren't supposed to have. Stop talking and start playing. Your golf game will speak volumes. Need an example. See Duke's basketball team.

Activists March Topless To Protest Biased Nudity Laws: No Badu Sighting

Can you say double standard? All together now--double standard. In Portland, Maine, activists took to the streets yesterday to protest bias in nudity. Topless men and women marched peacefully against gender bias in nudity. They did so without a city permit to boot.  While society is busy policing Badu's body, these bodies aren't being policed at all. Imagine that. Have you heard anything about this? It certainly would be a timely news story, especially with Badu's recent high-profile troubles. We think you haven't heard about it because there was no hot, black, R&B chanteuse in tow. You mean to tell us that naked, pasty, protesting white people with punk hairstyles aren't news?

Financial Overhaul To Pass Senate Soon, Allegedly

Wow, regulating an industry that has been out of control for the better part of a decade. Novel concept. We wished it had happened before so many black folks lost homes and jobs, but we guess the term better late than never exists for a reason.

The Okey Doke: Jobless Rate May Increase Because of 'Discouraged' Unemployed

From our give-us-a-break file, supposedly there will be more jobs and a higher jobless rate because folks are discouraged in their job searches? Perhaps we bumped our heads, but that sounds more like spin than reality. With 16 percent of black folks out of work, you best believe that we're coming for those jobs. They want us to manage our expectations. Maybe they should raise theirs.