Look, let’s be honest; we don’t expect much from this president. As long as he can keep his wooden blocks off the floor, not watch the adult channels when Papa Bannon isn’t home and doesn’t pee all over the toilet seat, we will all collectively pat him on the head and send him on his way.
But TrumPutin’s latest interview is disturbing on many levels. Sure, there are the usual Trumpisms we’ve come to expect: his obsession with Barack Obama, his inability to give a straight answer, and his usual overuse of words like, “best,” “fabulous” and “amazing” whenever he’s praising himself. What really struck me in this interview, though, wasn’t that TrumPutin was reframing his position, but that I actually think he believes this random shit he was saying.
There is a difference between a person who knowingly lies to gain advantage or favor and a person who actually believes he’s telling the truth, and at this point, I think the president of the United States isn’t just lying to gain position; I think he’s really disturbed.
I know, I know. What took me so long?! I think I wanted to believe that the president fully knew what he was doing in shifting the narrative, like White House press secretary Sean “Spicy Facts” Spicer. I don’t think Spicer is delusional; I think he knowingly lies because his job requires him to defend a man who habitually lies. So he’s consciously making a decision to frame the story differently, the way that lawyers do. It’s lying, but it’s high-level argumentative, positional lying.
I wanted to believe that like Spicer, TrumPutin was complicit in the lies that he tells, but after reading the transcript of an interview he gave to the Associated Press, I’m convinced that the president isn’t so much a liar as he is someone who actually believes the crazy shit he says. And that is worse.
The interview is too long to fully evaluate here, but I will go over some of TrumPutin’s answers that bothered me most.
First off, President Tiny Twitter Fingers continually touted the relationships he has with world leaders. Like, he actually believes that German Chancellor Angela Merkel likes him:
Trump: Yeah, it’s funny: One of the best chemistries I had was with [German Chancellor Angela] Merkel. ...
AP: Did you expect you would have good chemistry with her?
Trump: No. Because, um, I’m at odds on, you know, the NATO payments and I’m at odds on immigration. We had unbelievable chemistry. And people have given me credit for having great chemistry with all of the leaders, including [Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah] el-Sissi.
At this point in reading the transcripts, I’m yelling at the computer screen: “Merkel don’t fuck with you, and el-Sissi don’t fuck with you! Hell, more than half of Congress don’t fuck with you!”
I don’t think this president understands that there is a difference between being professional and actually liking someone. These world leaders he believes “like him,” as if that should matter, are tolerating him because he’s president. Also, why does he care whether people like him? What’s wrong with him?! Why did Russia give the election to him?! I hate everything!
OK, I’m back.
Anyway, he went on to destroy the “artificial barrier” of the first 100 days in office, although during his campaign, he claimed that he was going to do everything besides set the moon and the stars in the sky in his first 100 days. But now that he’s done nothing, he claims that it doesn’t matter:
AP: Do you feel like you have changed the office of the presidency, how the presidency can be used to effect change?
Trump: I think the 100 days is, you know, it’s an artificial barrier. It’s not very meaningful. I think I’ve established amazing relationships that will be used the four or eight years, whatever period of time I’m here. I think for that I would be getting very high marks because I’ve established great relationships with countries, as President el-Sissi has shown and others have shown. Well, if you look at the president of China, people said they’ve never seen anything like what’s going on right now. I really liked him a lot. I think he liked me. We have a great chemistry together. …
Trump: I’ve developed great relationships with all of these leaders. Nobody’s written that. In fact, they said, “Oh, well, he’s not treating them nicely,” because on NATO, I want them to pay up. But I still get along with them great, and they will pay up. In fact, with the Italian prime minister yesterday, you saw, we were joking, “Come on, you have to pay up, you have to pay up.” He’ll pay.
AP: Did he say that? In your meeting? Your private meeting?
Trump: He’s going to end up paying. But you know, nobody ever asked the question. Nobody asked. Nobody ever asked him to pay up. So it’s a different kind of a presidency.
LOL at this whole word scramble. OK, let me break it down for you:
Trump: Forget everything I’ve said about the first 100 days because I didn’t do anything, so that was a bust. Also, me and the president of China are close, super close. In fact, he said that I could ride his bike.
AP: Did he really say you could ride his bike?
TrumPutin: No, but if you ask him, I bet you he would say yes.
But the pièce de résistance of the entire article—the gem, the shining jewel of the show—was when he was asked specifically about the 100-day plan put out by his campaign and he didn’t even remember that what he considered to be one of his biggest successes was on the list.
AP: So in terms of the 100-day plan that you did put out during the campaign, do you feel, though, that people should hold you accountable to this in terms of judging success?
Trump: No, because much of the foundation’s been laid. Things came up. I’ll give you an example. I didn’t put Supreme Court judge on the 100 (day) plan, and I got a Supreme Court judge.
AP: I think it’s on there.
Trump: I don’t know. …
AP: “Begin the process of selecting.” You actually exceeded on this one. This says, “Begin the process of selecting a replacement.”
Trump: That’s the biggest thing I’ve done.
I. Can’t. With. This. Guy.
You have to read the whole scary thing because the man is delusional at best, and something much more sinister at worst.
Read more at the Associated Press.