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FBI Director James Comey has asked the Justice Department to refute President Vladimir TrumPutin’s claim that President Barack Obama wiretapped Trump Tower in New York City prior to the November 2016 presidential election. The FBI wanted to refute the claim for a few reasons:

  1. The new leader of the free world is a batshit-crazy megalomanic who can’t even fucking spray-tan properly.
  2. The claims are so ridiculous and false that they warrant someone coming out and saying that they are so ridiculous and false.
  3. If then-President Obama did wiretap Trump Tower, he would have had to involve the FBI, and our current dumb-ass president doesn’t know how anything works, so he didn’t realize that in trying to drag Obama’s holy name into the mud, he was mudding up other departments.
  4. The American public is wise enough to realize this “Hey, I’ve been tapped” sleight-of-hand bullshit is really meant to take the pressure off looking into TrumPutin’s obvious ties to Russia.

And all of this began because of a hack piece of fake news published by the white supremacist rag Breitbart.

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White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders noted Monday morning that President TrumPutin doesn’t accept the FBI’s denial about his being tapped by the former president’s administration, Yahoo! News reports.

“The administration was wiretapping American citizens,” Sanders said. “His administration could have done this.”

Sanders appears to be referencing the National Security Agency’s “mass collection of telephonic metadata from millions of Americans as evidence to support the claim, although she did not mention it directly,” Yahoo! reports.

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But here is what’s funny to me: The president took to Twitter with damning tweets calling the former president a “bad” and/or “sick” guy for wiretapping Trump Tower. He did this with no evidence. And the president’s tweets were definitive. Now White House spokesperson Sanders goes on a morning talk show and vaguely references NSA bulk telephone-data collection and notes that the Obama administration “might have done this” to the president?

Needless to say, a spokesman for former President Obama issued a strong denial regarding Trump’s accusation, and basically called the current president a petulant toddler with a wispy comb-over.

“A cardinal rule of the Obama administration was that no White House official ever interfered with any independent investigation led by the Department of Justice,” Obama spokesman Kevin Lewis said in a statement Saturday, Yahoo! reports. “As part of that practice, neither President Obama nor any White House official ever ordered surveillance on any U.S. citizen. Any suggestion otherwise is simply false.”

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Trump spokeswoman Sanders said that the president wants Congress to investigate this bullshit, obviously in hopes that it will take the heat off of his perverted sexual relationship with Mother Russia.

“The president wants the truth to come out to the American people through the House Intelligence Committee and that is the process we go through,” she said.

And this administration is in charge of nuclear codes.

Read more at Yahoo! News.