New KAWS x Air Jordan 4s buyer kisses his sneaker during the sale at Overkill store March 31, 2017, in Berlin. (Maja Hitij/Getty Images)

I’m almost at the point where I want to unplug my computer and walk away from everything, because now they’re offering lease terms and finance rates on sneakers.

Annual percentage rates and monthly notes that are usually only rolled out when you’re looking to buy a house or a car—you know, big-ticket investments—are now being used to hook those who want to finance a pair of high-priced jays. Something about this feels both ingenious and predatory.

Payday jays.

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America has a long credit history. We are a country built on borrowing, and whether it’s slave labor or Russian money (I’m looking at you, President Vladimir TrumPutin), our history is sordid and corrupt. But everything about a teen’s desire to own the latest, dopest, most exclusive sneakers and paying a note for those shoes is fucking weird. Like, really weird.

It works like this: Say a shoe costs $300. A kid can pay as little as $26.37 a month to own said shoe, and just like cars and houses, said shoe comes with an interest rate of about 10 percent. No word on what happens should the teen default on the loan, but this shit is happening, and it’s real.

Looks like a company, Affirm, allows stores to offer its services as an option to buy. Once a company has approved Affirm as a method of payment, a customer, who might just be window-shopping for some Air Jordan Fragment 1s or the KAWS Jordan 4s, can see what a monthly rent-to-own payment breakdown might look like.

Flightclub.com screenshot

I. can’t. believe. we. are. here. ’Merica.

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Also, Affirm might be the least diverse company in the world; take a look at the screenshot from its “About Us” page:

Affirm.com Screenshot