10 People We Don't Want To See in 2010
Call it wishful thinking if you’d like, but as 2009 draws to a close, here’s to hoping that the following politicos, pop stars and “whatever they do” celebrities go MIA in 2010.
Hear me out. It's not that I hate Beyoncé. Quite the contrary, I've been a "Bey-liever," since 10th grade when I watched her and the other members of Destiny's Child break into the "south side" in the "No, No, No" video. However, Beyoncé has failed to grasp the concept of making people miss you. As curious as I am to hear this new album that's scheduled to be released in 2010, I wouldn't mind if it came out a year later. A year-long break could give her a chance to reinvent herself-something she hasn't done in years.
CAPTIONS BY MICHAEL ARCENEAUX
Michael SteeleGetty Images
Michael Steele has single-handedly renewed the importance of the phrase, "Think before you speak." He sent "slum love" to Bobby Jindal. He's obsessed with making the GOP appear "off the hook" in order to attract young minority voters. But, he also bowed down to Rush Limbaugh, flip-flopped on abortion and couldn't muster up an ounce of support for gay marriage among his party--all of which makes it that much easier for young voters to vote Democratic (or not vote at all).
Kanye WestGetty Images
Even if he didn't snatch that award away from that little country-singing teenager, Kanye West has long needed a break from the public eye. I get he's an artist, and sometimes creative people say things out of the ordinary. But let's be frank: As President Obama put it so succinctly, he can be a bit of a jackass. Some of it is justifiable (see George Bush, Katrina). Other times, not so much. (See MTV Video Music Awards, Taylor Swift.) Either way, in 2010, I want this Negro to get his Whitley Gilbert on and learn how to "relax, relate, release." That way, when he does return to the public eye, he won't have to worry about any more PR disasters.
Jon & Kate Plus 8Getty Images
Thankfully, I didn't know who these people were until this year. Unfortunately, it doesn't take long to realize just how annoying these two-and their drama-are. Why were they on the cover of every single magazine on earth? Why were they all over national television putting each other's business on Front Street? Why were so many of you deeply interested in this? Because they share a litter of kids? If that's the case, there are plenty of people out there who can take their place. Bye.
The KardashiansGetty Images
I respect Kim Kardashian's right to make a career for herself and her family based on a weak sex tape with Brandy's brother. But in all seriousness, why have we made her-and her kinfolk-so famous? I'll admit it: I watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (Who didn't?) But I didn't sign up for nonstop coverage of Kim Kardashian at the opening of a hot dog stand. And no, that's not a joke. If that weren't enough, now we have to watch and read about Khloe Kardashian marrying a Laker for a reality show, and Kourtney Kardashian getting pregnant. What happened to being famous for something?
Any Jackson Not Named JanetGetty Images
La Toya thinks she's both a police detective and ghost whisperer. Joe seems to think his son should pay his allowance. And Jermaine, eh, I just don't want to look at his hair. If your name isn't Janet, stay your butt at home and get on CareerBuilder.
I say this respectfully: I'm tired of her. I hate the way some people have vilified her for daring to speak about being beat up by a light-skinned pretty boy who can dance his butt off. Still, when she's not talking about an issue of great importance, she's telling me too much about what gets her off. She likes sex-and lots of it. That's all she wants for Christmas. Oh, and she likes grabbing boobs, too. We get it, Rihanna. You're a bad girl. You like sex. Lots and lots of sex. Why don't you go have sex instead of talking about it so much? Better yet, go to dance class and holler at your vocal coach. That's what you're paid to do, right?
Chris BrownGetty Images
I think it's great that he wants to sort of acknowledge his wrongdoing, but considering he gives constant interview after interview about "the incident" without really saying anything, Chris Brown has me longing for the days when celebrities who messed up hid their heads in shame and went into hiding.
Sarah PalinGetty Images
She quit her job as governor of Alaska because the media purportedly made it difficult for her to do her job. After she quits, she spends all her time talking even more to the people who allegedly made her professional life so difficult in the first place. Sarah Palin has always made about as much sense as opening up a rib joint next to a mosque. I wish that she--and her legions of fans--would take a long break. Go read. Go babysit. Go whisper sweet nothings to Dmitry Medvedev. Whatever she does, I want it out of the camera's view.