Ronnie Seaton can sure cook up a tale.
According to his book Sir White House Chef, Seaton served for some 32 years as a White House chef.
The book, according to the New York Post, is Seaton's first-person account of all the inside stuff that could bring down a presidency.
President Bill Clinton, according to Seaton, seduced several female staffers. And, wrote Seaton, Vice President Dick Cheney would publicly berate President George W. Bush on a daily basis. Not to mention, Bush had a penchant for marijuana.
"President Bush drank a lot of whiskey," and "he loved bourbon and beer," Seaton wrote, also claiming that he and other kitchen staff would find "marijuana butts" when cleaning up after the 43rd president.
The tales are juicy and elaborate—Seaton claims that Bush had an affair with then-Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and that first lady Laura Bush "told Dr. Rice she needed to think about leaving her post"—but most likely, the tales are untrue.
The Post found most of the book hard to believe, so the paper investigated the author, only to find that the White House has no record of his having worked there. There are also holes in his bio prior to his "working" for the White House. According to the Post, Seaton claimed to be a veteran who spent 21 days as a prisoner of war and won a Purple Heart. He also said that he was honored with the Medal of Freedom and was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, who obviously knighted him after tasting his food.
And that isn't all. Even his title is cause for concern.
"My title really is sir doctor master chef," Seaton told the Post. He added that he is a "master chef" from culinary school and is also a "Dr." with a Ph.D. in "foodology" from Cornell University.
A representative for Cornell told the Post that it has no record of Seaton.
While Seaton's tales are ripe and his stories based on some historical facts, Seaton's belief in his proximity to these tales appears to be false.
Historically, Clinton and Monica Lewinsky had a tryst of sorts inside the White House. In Seaton's version, he served the meal they would eat before—chocolate-covered strawberries, caviar and champagne—and said that afterward he saw the room, which he claimed looked like "a wild party went on in there."
The most telling admission that Seaton's tale may be false, according to the Daily Mail, is that there is no mention of his ever having worked at the White House on his Facebook page. And we all know that no one lies on his Facebook page.