Though, apparently, my black female friend missed the memo. She was heated over a word  that had gone cold for me and my white friend. I can understand his confusion: He wasn't being insensitive or ignorant. He's not a racist. He didn't grow up in an era when segregation was still prevalent and the vast majority of whites still had racial superiority programmed into their psyche. He was just being himself.

Honestly, if someone asked me not to use a word that others could based solely on the color of my skin, I would be confused, as well. It's not fair. I mean, technically that's racist, a prohibition based solely on race.

But hold on, don't get angry.

Depending on which color camp you ascribe to, I, Mebrahtu Grmai, should be barred from the "privilege" of using the word "nigga," too. I'm just not as in touch with black history as I should be. Essentially, coasting without paying homage to a painful past. Still, I use the word "nigga" and others just as bad. Mercilessly. Yet, somehow, because of my skin color, it's cool?

Let me say this much: My female friend believes no one should use the word. So she had every right to make her request. On the other hand, the gentleman grew up around people who use "nigga" in casual speech; it's a part of his environment. So to him, it's someone he barely knows, coming into his comfort zone and imposing restrictions upon him.

People are the way they are mainly because of their environment. My friend says "nigga" because that's how he grew up, tangled in the cultural confusion typical of the Gen-Y era. He grew up with black people who used the word and don't bat a lash with its usage or his use of it. My other friend doesn't because she still feels the stigma associated with the word. She knows the history of the word, and maybe it still has some sting after all these years.

Two Gen Y'ers. Two very different perspectives.

As you may have realized, this Gen Y'er doesn't really have an opinion one way or the other. I'm kind of like that sometimes. But in reading this article, I would like you to take one thing out of it. I'm not sure what kind of person you are, whether you abuse the word "nigga" or hate it. But before you get mad at someone for saying it, before you request that someone refrain from saying it; before you lose it over some other controversial, semi-derogatory, contextual mess and before you become enveloped in an argument where perspective is the key difference, consider one thing.

Maybe both of you are right.

Mebrahtu Grmai is a writer living in Prince George's County, Maryland.

Check out Saaret E. Yoseph and Mebrahtu Grmai's Live Chat on Gen-Y and race.

Also on The Root:

Saaret E. Yoseph sees a broad color spectrum, Michael Tunison rebukes the word racist, and Kim McLarin tries to crack Whiteygate.

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