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Oh, What a Tangled Web, My Weave

After 20 years of loving my locks, what happens when a sistah decides to play it straight?

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July 9, 2008--Strange things happen when the husband of a happily married woman goes out of town. She calls up her girlfriends and begs them to come over, plying them with champagne and cupcakes. She spends inordinate amounts of time online, staring at dresses that if her husband were home, he would mock derisively.

"I hate those dresses," he says about a Pucci print, "My grandmother had one just like it."

And there will be no explaining the merry-go-round of fashion, how what is old is always, inevitably, new again. When the husband's away, the wife will play. She will shop. She will wear ridiculously high shoes and take a taxi to meet her friends 10 blocks away. And sometimes, every once in a while, she will get a weave.

At 37, I've had dreadlocks for nearly half my lifetime. Why I got them is not really important; what is important is that I like them. I cringe when people say "your hair must be so easy; you never have to do anything to it." Because anyone with a natural hairstyle knows, it takes work to keep chemical-free hair neat. And if you're a person who likes to play with her locks—a sweet Audrey Hepburn bun one day, the next day, curly locks (achieved via rod set and three hours underneath the dryer)—then it is an effort. Not to mention, I like to color my hair. I've settled into a caramel brown with light highlights, but my locks have been everything from dirty blonde to fire engine red. And my husband, bless his Pucci-hating heart, loves my hair.

That said, my husband was away. I sat in the reception area of Duafe, the natural hair mecca in Philadelphia and waited for my appointment with Syreeta Scott, hair stylist to the stars (Jill Scott among them). I sat looking at a book of 'dos and a picture of a girl with a long Naomi Campbell like ponytail entranced me. Could I have hair like that?

When Syreeta came out to greet me, I asked her.

"A weave?" she asked, laughing. "Oh, Lord. What'll Jason say?"

Syreeta knows my husband and thinks he's hilarious. "Jason's out of town, and I want to surprise him," I explained.

"Let's do it," Syreeta said. "But not now. I've got to pick out some hair and need to block out some time—five hours worth."

I returned to the salon at 9 p.m. the following night. Right away, there was a buzz when I got to the salon. Weaves don't come through often at a natural hair salon, and no one had seen someone with locks get a straight weave. (There are natural hair weaves, but that's another hair story.) Syreeta and her crew ordered dinner—Jamaican, from a place called Little Delicious—and as we ate, I explained—my husband was away, I wanted to do something surprising.        

As the evening wore on, I kept expecting clients who had finished to leave, but no one was going home.

"I've got to see this, "said one woman pulling up a chair.

"The cool thing is you've had locks for years; you're just changing things up," said another. Not everyone stayed the whole night, but by the time we were finished, at 2 a.m., there were still half a dozen people in the salon.

Because the locks made my hair sit up so high, I couldn't get the pulled back Sadé ponytail I had in mind. Instead, what I got was a chin length bob, not that different—in length at least—from my locks.

Looking at myself with a weave, I felt like I was staring down a clone of myself in a sci-fi movie; familiar, but not really the same. I ran my fingers through my hair: It was soft and fine. I'd forgotten the feeling of bone-straight hair. I liked it.

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Oh, What a Tangled Web, My Weave

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  • Posted By:
    Lana Gee at 08/20/2008 6:28:42 AM
    Comment:
    Hair...a topic women could go on for days about. I am at an extremely point in my life. I stopped relaxing my hiar about 5 years ago. But I dont just only "rock" my hair in one style. I found that I love changing my hair styles way too often to just "commit" to only one style.Im energetic and my vaired hairstyles show this.

    I shook in agreement where in the story she said her baby did not recognize or even feel comfortable with her new style. My son was similiar when he was a baby, suck on my hair. the I started to change my hair by addidnt extension, weaves, ponytails. I like that people couldnt always recognize who was sitting at my desk. LOL.

    But by the time my son was 4 or 5 he made a comment to me that struck my heart(I was still sporting various wigs/weaves at this time). He asked me, "mommy why can't you wear your regular hair". Regular hair? lol. So I did. I stopped straightening my hair. It was hard at first trying to style it.

    But now I love my hair.It is natural but I can press my hair, wear it in a curly ponytail, a straight ponytail, I can wear it in wavy tresses(just was and condtion and go). I good Im guilty of having what they call "good hair" which I hate being tagged like that. But I can twist my hair into tiny little shirley temple ringlets. Or my favorite...my ultimate favorite hairstyle is the blow out! When I want to be the only one noticed in a room or function I blow my curly afro out and its huge! And people stare at it, they love it but they wonder about it. I love that the most having natural hair...wearing a blow out. But my last comment is that the realtionship you have with your hair ...is what you make it.

    Lana Gee
  • Posted By:
    Faith M at 07/21/2008 12:47:20 PM
    Comment:
    Interesting.
  • Posted By:
    Sparkle at 07/19/2008 6:55:54 PM
    Comment:
    Sister,

    I agree with your comment. However, it will be another 3 or 4 centuries or the fall of white supremacy, which ever comes first, before sistas will truly start loving our hair. Even though many of us not will not publicly admit it, we still believe that long silky hair is better and many of us are willing to spend good money on a Brazilian or Indian Remy lacefront to get the look. And yes we are still using terms like "good hair, bad hair, good grade of hair" which means that the kinkier the hair is the lower grade it is.

    And there are still too many ads directed at our little girls influencing them to start perming their hair at an early age in order to look "pretty." Add to that the music videos in which all of the female love interests are exotic mixed, Brazilian or Latina types with long silky hair. Seldom a darkskinned female with locks or an Afro.

    I admire the sistas who can rock the afros and locs in a world that still deems our hair ugly and inferior. It takes an extra measure of esteem to hold your locked head high when brothers walk past you to get with a sista with that coveted "good hur" or jump on a plane to Rio to get with the mixed race "Girl from Ipanema."

    To sisters who have the strength and courage to forego the wigs, weaves and lye to sport your natural locks, I say Ache'
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