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The 40-Year-Old Re-Virgin
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Posted By:
justsaying123 at 07/31/2008 3:12:25 PM
Comment:
It's you. Not the rest of the world. Really, it's you. -
Posted By:
Gypsyman27 at 07/30/2008 10:29:46 AM
Comment:
Oh and by the way, some of my best friends are African/American lesbians. So I speak on their behalf when I say that you comment was out of line. A *** friend of mine christened me Gypsyman 30 years ago. I am not anti-black female or anything else for that matter. However your plight still is laughable as far as I am concerned. Get a life, work for achieving something good like, renewable energy sources, getting the automobile off the roads (in it's current state) and lobby for electric vehicles, do something! In the meantime don't act as though your views are 'healthy' or 'normal', they are not. -
Posted By:
Gypsyman27 at 07/30/2008 9:15:59 AM
Comment:
Are you kidding? I am a professional black male (MSCE [that's Master of Science Civil Engineering] University of Maryland 1972) and I know very few professional black women. I've been married (now divorced) and I have four children, all but one grown. I am a single father (seventeen year old son) and I am not a particulary religious person, although I am a spiritual person. All my life I've known overbearing black women who for the most part cannot hold my coat. Loud, obnoxious and opinionated. I perfer the company of the soft spoken, hence my preference for dating white females. You may not know it, but you made it obvious as to the 'type' of woman that you strive to emulate. I won't insult you by saying what I mean, however keep your comments to yourself. No one cares what you think of women who wear revealing clothing. I and many of my contemporaries like this trend in fashion. Communications? What sort of profession is that? Does being a born again virgin (no such thing) or your preference for covering your body make the world a better place? I don't think so, nor does anyone care about who you want across the dinner table from 'your highness'. For God's sake crawl back into your asexual life and let the rest of us enjoy this very short life.
Gypsyman27 -
Posted By:
linzinn at 06/05/2008 11:50:27 AM
Comment:
OH MY GOODNESS - *** is not a dirty word; it's even in the article. Why does the server replace it with ***? -
Posted By:
linzinn at 06/05/2008 11:47:13 AM
Comment:
"So, I think my drought makes me eligible for reinstatement into Club Virgin. And before you go jumping to conclusions and making radical judgments, I'm extremely fond of men and I am not a ***." To correct the misconception, lesbians DO have sex (oral, penetration, and so on); they just don't do it with men. Not having ANY sex does not qualify a woman for the *** club. While I understand her point in the article, and maybe it was meant to be a funny, flippant comment to assert her heterosexuality, but I wonder what other misconceptions about sexuality (and the way relationships WORK for that matter) the author may have - and there in lies the issue. And the author was raised in traditional 1950's style? Well, this "style" is not exactly known for promoting healthy attitudes about race, gender, and sexuality. Despite the statistics which favor a wide spreading trend, perhaps the author's re-virgining is more of a personal problem (first real boyfriend at 26 and then you marry him ???--- issues!!!). -
Posted By:
Milan at 05/17/2008 2:07:42 AM
Comment:
Sadly enough, you are not alone in your experience. Maybe a lot of women are still sexually active, but still unsatisfied with the pickings of men out there. When it comes to finding that ADEQUATE MAN, many women of all races are having difficulty doing so, but unlike other races, it is the Black Woman, who appears to have been abandoned by the Black Man. This is one aspect you don't see happeining in any other race. -
Posted By:
chui at 05/16/2008 6:04:17 PM
Comment:
i would like to get to know you. -
Posted By:
juicyjen at 05/16/2008 5:05:03 PM
Comment:
dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn girl but i do feel youand understand!! -
Posted By:
nubiangirl at 05/16/2008 11:32:24 AM
Comment:
There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. I am there also. Not that long but close. It shows you respect yourself and will not settle. Be strong. Sex is good but not the be-all society trys to make it. Would rather be safe than sick. -
Posted By:
karloglesby at 05/10/2008 6:10:54 AM
Comment:
http://www.shoutlife.com/KARLOGLESBY
Believe In You
Isn't it wonderful to know that we're beautiful inside?
It's like looking deep into a crystalline mountain stream
or a pristine reflection pool.
Like looking deep into the vast ocean
Just to see why it's so blue.
To discover the abundance of life
In a simple puddle after the rain.
Like looking high into the sky
To see where clouds come from.
To search the farthest reaches of outer space
To see how galaxies were formed.
or...
To gaze into your beautiful eyes
Beyond every disappointment and hurt...
To see the love in your heart
Just waiting to be expressed
And cherished for all time to come.
I believe in you.
Believe in me.
Written by
Karl Oglesby
Copyright 2006 -
Posted By:
karloglesby at 05/10/2008 6:09:38 AM
Comment:
http://www.shoutlife.com/KARLOGLESBY -
Posted By:
sultry61 at 05/09/2008 5:30:18 PM
Comment:
Your not alone. Add to all you've said the rising rate of fatal sexually transmitted disease, and I may stay celebate for life. -
Posted By:
BlkPsychDr at 05/09/2008 3:45:23 PM
Comment:
As a counseling psychologist-in-training, I am impressed with Ms. Mabry's healthy and balanced worldview about her circumstances. As a Black man I share her sentiments. I am long passed finding bed hoping a way to spend my time or share my spirit and body. As I complete this Ph.D. I find myself surrounded with people who don't look like me or who share my Afrocentric worldview of spirituality or the communal nature of people of African descent. But I also realize that many of us focus too much on what we don't want while placing less energy and thought toward what we do desire and then aligning our actions with those desires. I will conclude with the reconstitued virigns must look at past relationships and understand they are mirrors of who we are as opposed to who we desire to be. Its hard to stand in front of that mirror and see the truth of ourselves, and then prepare to modify that truth so that what is reflected back to us are the lives we desire. -
Posted By:
nhine at 05/09/2008 10:23:27 AM
Comment:
I agree and feel 110% of your emotion, disappointment and resignation. I also commend and applaud you in your strength, confidence and determination to "hold out' for the blessing that you deserve and desire, I too have made the decision to preserve and look forward to a meaningful relationship with a black male (or other variety- vanilla, strawberry :) who is my the soul-mate. I do not see the value in 'settling' for just "he treats me alright for the most part' type of thing just so I can say "I have someone", though many girlfriends I have, do just that. It's painful to watch. I made my decision five years ago after a failed short-term marriage, he was twelve years my senior, charming, very convincing and attractive. Nevertheless, it got ugly when convincing turned into conniving, lazy and boorish. I naively couldn't see the forest for the trees in the beginning and I found myself 'robbed of the all the trust, generosity and compassion' that had been instilled in me by my Mom, despite her own relationship shortcomings with my Dad. It took much of those five years to re-cooperate, however, now, today, I still seek and value all the meaningful and spiritual aspects of being in love, the security and fulfillment of it all. (I know I'll have it someday) I don't mind the wait. I've been using the time ever perfecting my chess game. :)
I rather see this shared, common plight of black women, women of color for that matter, as you said, more of a "choice" by black males rather than societal, to chose "alternative wives, friends and girlfriends", I generally find it very disrespectful on the part of black men when they make such conscious choices. Forever trying to justify their choice by ignorantly uttering the stereotype that " black women are argumentative, like to fight, hard to deal etc."
I call this a-typical black male behavior because it's easier to point the finger back at someone else rather than investigate your own soul and own up to the real reason why. I like to ask them , "why shouldn't I expect you to treat me with admiration, dignity and respect, if you approach me saying you're worthy of "my gifts" which I make a standard rule in these days and times not to ever give away or share lightly.
I only suggest one revision to your last comment "simply because I choose to wait until an adequate black mate comes along.". I don't think for someone of your intellect and obvious understanding of who she is, should even consider "adequate" enough. The "other" women equal in your stature and presence aren't looking for "adequate", they are looking for and usually getting the "premium" , the best of our men and theirs. -
Posted By:
nhine at 05/09/2008 10:19:41 AM
Comment:
I agree and feel 110% of your emotion, disappointment and resignation. I also commend and applaud you in your strength, confidence and determination to "hold out' for the blessing that you deserve and desire, I too have made the decision to preserve and look forward to a meaningful relationship with a black male (or other variety- vanilla, strawberry :) who is my the soul-mate. I don't see the value in 'settling' for just "he treats me alright for the most part' type of thing just so I can say "I have someone", though many girlfriends I have, do just that. It's painful to watch. I made my decidion five years ago after a failed short-term marriage, he was tweleve years my senior, charming, very convincing and atractive. But it got ugly when convincing turned into coniving, lazy and boorish. I naively couldn't see the forest for the trees in the beginning and I found myself 'robbed of the all the trust, generosity and compassion' that had been instilled in me by my Mom, despite her own relationship shortcomings with my Dad. It took much of those five years to re-cooperate, however, now, today, I still seek and value all the meangingful and spiritual aspects of being in love, the security and fulfilment of it all. (I know I'll have it someday) I don't mind the wait. I've been using the time ever perfecting my chess game. :)
I rather see this shared, common plight of black women, women of color for that matter, as you said, more of a "choice" by black males rather than societal, to chose "alternative wives, friends and girlfirends", I generally find it very disrespectful on the part of black men when they make such conscious choices. Forever trying to justify their choice by ignorantly uttering the stereotype that " black women are argumentative, like to fight, hard to deal etc."
I call this a-typical black male behavior because it's easier to point the finger back at someone else rather than investigate your own soul and own up to the real reason why. I like to ask them , "why shouldn't I expect you to treat me with admiration, dignity and respect, if you approach me saying you're worthy of "my gifts" which I make a standard rule in these days and times not to ever give away or share lightly.
I only suggest one revision to your last comment "simply because I choose to wait until an adequate black mate comes along.". I don't think for someone of your intellect and obvious understanding of who she is, should even consider "adequate" enough. The "other" women equal in your stature and presence aren't looking for "adequate", they are looking for and usually getting the "premium" , the best of our men and theirs. -
Posted By:
designs by mr cee at 05/07/2008 5:19:15 PM
Comment:
I've read a lot of the comments here and I must say that I lean toward the thinking of changed_by_him. Firstly, I'm a 50+ yr old man - single, never married man - who's educated and happy. I'm single because I'm selective as well, but my being selective has nothing to do with another's educational or economic situation. I'm also a single dad who's raised my now 13 yr old daughter alone and have had a sensationally wonderful time/experience doing so.. I'm accomplished, attractive ('they' tell me this), well liked, and HAPPY. According to your standards, though, I'm an undesirable!! How totally ludicrous. Consider that sometimes really good people just never had the opportunity, or more likely, the guidance, to acheive on the same level as you or I. Doesn't make them lesser a person, partner, husband, or wife. I've met the women that c_b_h speaks about when he says that their credentials are the first things out of their mouths. Not attractive. To not make that your first priority is not hiding your accomplishments, as monstera puts it, but allowing someone to know YOU, and getting to know someone, should not be about your particular past/present acheivements. To state that 'someone who is not on my level could not understand my work' is about as uppity, selfish, and blatantly egotistical as any phrase you'll ever utter. Find the someone who'll love you with or without your accomplishments, who'll be there to help you grow and to grow with you - good, bad, hard, or easy. That's where true joy and happiness is to be found. Personally, I'm more attracted to someone who's not yet spoiled/ruined by the luxuries afforded by 'success', the person who's as likely to leave should times get hard as they are to stay when everything is going fantastically. You should always be proud of your accomplishments, but they should never define you as a person. Learn to love for love's sake. Give your heart because you've allowed someone to earn it, not because he/she is as accomplished as you are or wish them to be. As for the child, if I needed to choose between you and your riches and her simplistic, all encompassing love, believe this: you don't have, and won't ever have, enough of anything - especially personality - to even make me consider it!! LOVE SOMEBODY. LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU. Discover first yourself, then discover life. And by the way, monstera, this is not about assigning blame to the woman, this is about mankind and what makes life a better place to be. Perhaps you've forgotten, or are maybe too young to remember, when a certain part of society thought you were 'less than' simply because of your very lovely shade of blackness. I'm done. -
Posted By:
monstera at 05/06/2008 10:58:04 PM
Comment:
This is a response to Changed_by_him. You seem to be missing the issue and assigning blame to the woman. I did not spend all this time getting an education and working long hours to hide it. It makes sense that I should not have to hide it in my relationships. That is not pride. I don't expect everyone to be at my level, but I know someone who is not at my level could not understand my work.
A wife is a partner, not a competitor. I did not sense that any of the ladies were competitive. They are just successful. Be proud ladies! -
Posted By:
changed_by_him at 05/06/2008 10:28:36 PM
Comment:
It's really interesting reading a article like this. I don't like to say this, but the author and a number of other women who have posted comments to this article seem to be dealing with issues of pride. Let me tell you why.
I'm a college educated black male in my late twenties. I'm single, have a good job, and don't have any kids from previous relationships. Now, how unfair would it be for me to require a woman who I could fall in love with to have those same attributes. If I followed this line of reasoning when choosing a woman to date, then yes, the dating pool become smaller. It's because I made the choice for it to be that way. Am I "ineligible" to love within the bounds of a marriage relationship due to the lack of college degree, or because of kids from a previous relationship. Kids are gifts from god, not luggage. It takes a person with a big heart to love their own kids, and requires even more heart to love another person's kids.
Real men hope to find their wife someday, not their competitor. With all due respect, get over yourself. Don't allow your job, education, or income define you. The men who who attract, due to those items, will not be attracted to you. Your value isn't in any of those things. It has no bearing on what's in your heart.
Being the owner of a college degree doesn't mean that you have the credentials to love another person. It's just a tool that allow one to purse the career of their choice. There's not one thing that I learned in grad course that's assisted me in a relationship; yet, the mention of degree credentials is often some of the first words spoken from the mouth of educated black woman. It's a huge turn off. Again, it's a situation of the heart. Men marry women, not Masters Degrees.
How can one know love, and not know God; it is impossible. Allow God to choose your mate. Allow him to change your heart, so that you would be a suitable wife. If you let him, God will bring the right man into your life who will have exactly what you need. Your heart has to be in the right place for that man to receive you. You are his favor. You are his "good thing." Yield yourself to God. I'm telling you. God's got it all worked out. He's waiting on you. -
Posted By:
changed_by_him at 05/06/2008 10:27:41 PM
Comment:
It's really interesting reading a article like this. I don't like to say this, but the author and a number of other women who have posted comments to this article seem to be dealing with issues of pride. Let me tell you why.
I'm a college educated black male in my late twenties. I'm single, have a good job, and don't have any kids from previous relationships. Now, how unfair would it be for me to require a woman who I could fall in love with to have those same attributes. If I followed this line of reasoning when choosing a woman to date, then yes, the dating pool become smaller. It's because I made the choice for it to be that way. Am I "ineligible" to love within the bounds of a marriage relationship due to the lack of college degree, or because of kids from a previous relationship. Kids are gifts from god, not luggage. It takes a person with a big heart to love their own kids, and requires even more heart to love another person's kids.
Real men hope to find their wife someday, not their competitor. With all due respect, get over yourself. Don't allow your job, education, or income define you. The men who who attract, due to those items, will not be attracted to you. Your value isn't in any of those things. It has no bearing on what's in your heart.
Being the owner of a college degree doesn't mean that you have the credentials to love another person. It's just a tool that allow one to purse the career of their choice. There's not one thing that I learned in grad course that's assisted me in a relationship; yet, the mention of degree credentials is often some of the first words spoken from the mouth of educated black woman. It's a huge turn off. Again, it's a situation of the heart. Men marry women, not Masters Degrees.
How can one know love, and not know God; it is impossible. Allow God to choose your mate. Allow him to change your heart, so that you would be a suitable wife. If you let him, God will bring the right man into your life who will have exactly what you need. Your heart has to be in the right place for that man to receive you. You are his favor. You are his "good thing." Yield yourself to God. I'm telling you. God's got it all worked out. He's waiting on you. -
Posted By:
shoesgalore at 05/06/2008 6:27:29 PM
Comment:
I can identify with your story, although I am considerably older than you. I feel that there is a time in ones life that you don't settle, you select. Although I feel that you live in the wrong place to be able to select. You did say that there is not a plethora of black males in your vicinity. Explore new cities and states, you never know who might be out there waiting for you. I wish you all the luck. Sincerely, Cathy -
Posted By:
radovich74 at 05/06/2008 1:07:32 PM
Comment:
ladies, scour the history books and you'll find scores of women who made an incredible impact on their communities before they were married, after their husbands died or because they were not married at all. Again, I am calling us to re-think (deeply) what "happiness" means to black women. Not in relation to heterosexual norms (marriage, babies, etc.) but maybe for once, we are in a moment in history were we can redefine what happiness truly means and it could be black women who pave the way in that! White, upwardly mobile women are no more "happy" than we because the drive a Lexus mini-van and have corporate husbands....(agian, my original call to think about Bullock's character in CRASH). Let's get on those cruises, let's buy Art, let's eat really healthy and good food, let's invest in young business opportunities of the brilliant young black people in our lives, let's open bed and breakfasts, let's travel to Africa and open schools....let's LIVE!!! Let's create "love affairs" with the children in our current or old neighborhoods who are hungry and thristy for positive adult attention. Let's take those children to the Opera, to Broadway, hell, just take them to Borders and show them all the different kinds of books and magazines that are worlds away from BET! Let's be different, do different and hope differently than our anestors had a chance to. Happiness is not about a man...happiness is being thankful for where you are and what you've become and having the foresight to see the beautiful burden in those blessings.
If we are all busy do as I suggest...that 8 Billion dollar Bridal Industry can not sabbotage our very really success, failures and hopes or dreams. Nothing wrong with wanting a man...it's human nature...but our community is in a very difficult place right now....so, what are you going to do to make it better!?!? -
Posted By:
macdw at 05/06/2008 10:42:29 AM
Comment:
Of course, we all view the world through the filter of our own experience, and it is human nature to judge everyone's experience by our own. What other filter do we have? It is interesting the comments that people are making that women in this situation should just go and date outside of our race...or stop looking for a Denzel/MLK..whatever.
I will simply say that I am a 43 year old single woman who has never been married. I have had many relationships that didn't work out for a myriad of reasons. The truth is, the higher you go up the socio-economic ladder the harder it is to find a man. In the company I work for, I am one a few women at my level and the only black woman. There are NO black men at my level, and other black men look at me when I walk down the hall like I'm from Mars. My White co-workers are too concerned with their own ladder climbing to risk dating a black woman, because our corporate culture is still quite conservative. So there you go. Who am I supposed to date? My last relationship with with a postal worker. I LOVED him. He was never quite comfortable with the difference in our income and education level, and ultimately he chose to be with someone he was more "comfortable" with.
I have retired from the dating scene, I don't even think about it any more. I have resigned myself to the fact that there are some things I will never be. I will never be a super model, millionnaire, race car driver...or...wife. -
Posted By:
monstera at 05/05/2008 11:36:36 PM
Comment:
I could say so much, but I'll keep it simple. I too am a 40 year old with an advanced degree has been sitting home alone for yaers. But I would rather be alone than unhappy with a man who is not right for me. Hang in there ladies! -
Posted By:
Jacquiem at 05/05/2008 11:23:40 AM
Comment:
To the writer of the article: I wish you well! I've been abstinent (NOT celibate - celibacy is the forswearing of sex FOREVER; abstinence the forswearing of sex for A PERIOD OF TIME) for about 12 years. Haven't met anyone - Black, White, or otherwise - who I have felt a strong enough emotional connection with to enter into any kind of intimacy. At 40, I have come to learn that sex IS an emotional act; and as a Christian, it is a deeply spiritual act (you don't have to agree, that's my thing, so please can I call a pre-emptive moratorium on the anti-religious comments right now). I simply will not squander something I have finally figured out is so precious - and is precious becasue God created it to be that way - on just anyone. Of course I can have sex in about 35 minutes if I wanted to, if that was all I wanted. But I've tired of going after the instant gratification and settling for the very least that I can get in my life quite some time ago. I've learned that anything valuable worth having really is worth the wait. If that doesn't work for you, that's okay, too. -
Posted By:
Jacquiem at 05/05/2008 10:54:23 AM
Comment:
To radovich74 - Having standards in the people I want in my life - friends and otherwise - is not a fantasy. That's just having preferneces and wanting to spend your life with someone who is compatible in as many was as possible with you, and you with them. There's no such thing as the knight in shining armor, and I'm not looking for a dream wedding as you posit, but I will not accept a man in my life who does not bring to the table at the very least intellect, hard work ethic, desire for commitment, emotional and financial stability (and this does NOT mean he needs to make a certain amount of money), independence, and spiritual strength. I bring those things to the table plus some; I refuse to accept any less from my mate. This isn't classism, as I see it, it's common sense. -
Posted By:
radovich74 at 05/04/2008 5:55:19 PM
Comment:
while I too identify with this particularly middle class woe, something just tells me we are barking up the wrong tree on this! the way I see it, although it is true that the prision industrial complex and the "streets" threaten to gobble up too many of our "eligible" black men and those factors are compromising strong black (C)ommunities...there is always a silver lining to any troublesome time. Maybe the time has come that we divorce ourselves from false logics about what happiness really means...what I mean is, what makes one an "eligible" mate may need a more progressive and expansive lens. I get plenty of male attention with my albeit, nerdy and slightly siddity ways. The men I seem to attract LIKE the fact that I am a challenge and yet I respect thier realities as black men living in America. Although I am plenty tempeted to brow beat some men, some times for not having the sophisticated analysis that my degree(s) have afforded me I stop and remember that there were many, many African descendants who figures out how to make life work, survive and even find material if not, spiritual wholeness without formal education. So, why oh why are black women (us young black women espeically) so critical and so wanting of a framework that doesn't even fulfill the white women we borrowed our frameworks for success, happiness and fulfillment from...(so many popular images to cite here...but Sandra Bullock's character from CRASH comes to mind first). Just as racism has hurt white people and black people...classism has also hurt white people and black people, I argue, in particular. And, that seems to me what we are really facing here. So, let's call a spade a spade and get down to truly unpacking our "baggage"! Truth be told...no black woman should be pinning for a black man when there are so many young boys and young men who need solid female influnces and nurturing. So, maybe I won't ever have a fantasy wedding either...but I feel I should be commiting myself to creating a better world for our children to raise thier children in instead of whining about living some fanstasy dream life that doesn't really exsist. Just my thoughts! -
Posted By:
IChecked57 at 05/03/2008 11:56:54 AM
Comment:
I have a decade of non sexual living by choice. The resaons are varied for my choice of sex free living, yet I am not lonely just alone. Will I ever have another healthy relationship which includes sex? I don't know, but if not I will be fine. -
Posted By:
pburnstoole at 05/03/2008 8:53:03 AM
Comment:
I am a divorced mother of four daughters. After 15 years of marriage, their dad, I hate to say it, it sounds like such a cliche, ran off with a young white nurse, quit his practice, joined the military, hasn't seen the girls in five years, and is presently over $250000 in child support arrears. I am a dentist by profession, and my ex is the only person that I knew "in the biblica way". We met while in school. Many people have tried to encourage me to begin to date, its been about 7 years. But you have articulated my feelings on this subject of dating and sexual behavior so well. I totally agree with everything you've said and the way you choose to live your life. It even affirms me in the way I choose to live my life. My older two daughters are trying to get accepted to medical school, and this is an artical that I will insist they read. Have a blessed day. -
Posted By:
Mr honkey at 05/02/2008 8:40:13 PM
Comment:
If you need that *** lovin I am right here.
Also I go"DOWNTOWN"
Cause I know the brothers dont -
Posted By:
Mr honkey at 05/02/2008 8:39:23 PM
Comment:
if you need that *** lovin i am right here and I go "downtown" -
Posted By:
DrewReason at 05/01/2008 11:03:26 PM
Comment:
Hmmm..... I don't know if I could do that. "Adequate black mate?"
At 40? Girl, you are not serious are you! He'd have to be a heck of a lot more than "adequate" at 40.
My husband gets on my nerves sometimes but because we were both truly raised in a June and Ward Cleaver household we have consciously continued that 50s tradition--as have the majority of my peers. I believe that we understand the work and sacrifice to make a marriage, and also we are all pro-family.
Most folks who break with that tradition revel in being Unlike Mom and Dad. Sure it gets old after 28, but hey, I say embrace the truth if that's the motivation behind choosing to remain single.
I think that women, regardless of race, opt out of relationships when they realize that their partners will ask something of them that they are not willing to give: (children) (marriage). Women work hard to get their careers and children, family, husbands, etc only get in the way---that's the sacrifice stuff thing that some folks are not willing to do.
Thanks for the refreshing viewpoint that steers clear of obamagate drivel.
signed,
one sister who thinks that Oprah is not necessarily good for the soul. -
Posted By:
bylinediva at 04/30/2008 8:19:13 PM
Comment:
one more thing...please pray tell, tell me where all of these eligible white, Latino, Arab and anything but black men are WHO WANT TO DATE BLACK WOMEN? I ain't really turning any dates down, myself. My preference is for a BLACK man, but I'm open. But in my travels inside and outside the U.S., in my Northeastern city I am never, ever approached by men of another race. So if y'all know where all these interested white men ARE, do tell.
And PUHLEASE at these bitter black men that want and excuse to date a white woman. Go ahead, I don't feel like any white woman or one of any other race is taking any man away from me. If you want to date white women, that's fine. But stop acting like black women drove you to it. I have dated a bunch of brothers and it didn't work out. But if I do choose a white man or one of another race, I won't blame black men for it. It just wasn't meant to be. -
Posted By:
donnastar2001@yahoo.com at 04/30/2008 4:46:31 PM
Comment:
Wow! i thought I was the only one! It's about 3 years for me. I feel the exact same way. I know I'm articulate smart, funny and talented. I won't say that I am drop dead gorgeous but I can be a head turner when I want to be. My native hometown is New Orleans and I moved back about 3 years ago. Pre "the storm" ( I hate the name K*****a ) I was in Los Angeles loosing my mind and before that New York pursing an acting career which has been lucrative in the past. I've lived in New York for 10 years and Los Angeles for 2. But since the "storm" and the poor state of our economy business has been....not so good.I will say though at least you've met and married someone. I will be 40 in 4 weeks and I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE! What's wrong with this picture. My longest relationship in life was * months where a guy actually considered me his girlfriend. My baby sister is getting married at the ripe old age of 30 to a nice guy she met at a wedding. Since I've moved home I have been on 3 dates. None of them exactly my type but I tried to be open. Needless to say that each date was exactly one date. I don't know what to do. I want a family and a husband but I am still pursuing my career in the arts. It's been a huge mental battle for me, because now my body has been giving me signals that I am running out of time if I want a kid. If you know what I mean. What do we do? -
Posted By:
miss_chukwu at 04/30/2008 4:34:32 PM
Comment:
that comment was for sozer.
i appreciate the other comments that were constructive, either for or against the views of the author. those of you who are not bright enough to think of anything intelligent to say and can only resort to insults should take yourselves elsewhere. -
Posted By:
bylinediva at 04/30/2008 4:19:33 PM
Comment:
Black women are the only women on earth who have to apologize because they want a black man. It's unbelievable the amount of people on here that couldn't accept that that's one woman's choice. Did she say she wanted your advice? Everyone has a judgment but sometimes in life you have to stand up for what you want and wait for it. More power to you, girl. -
Posted By:
youngfeminist ofcolor at 04/30/2008 6:59:43 AM
Comment:
Strange that you would sit arounf your whole life waiting for a 'suitable' black man to come along when clearly the men you deem worthy aren't sitting at home waiting for you to show up. The insistence of black women to wait for black men is what screws up the supply and demand of the black dating pool. Because we as black women overvaule black men and loudy proclaim we will wait eons and eons for them and "no white boy (or Asian or Puerto rican or whoever can make me feeel like a black man) balck men get filled up in the head about thier own value on the dating market and free to declare that they have sooo many options (white, Hispanic, whoever, plus that great surplus of ever-waiting sisters) that they ain't never settling down. Black women's insistence on waiting for black men worsens the problen in my mind. -
Posted By:
Oasis at 04/29/2008 8:12:15 PM
Comment:
I'm a 45 year old black man with a BA in education, a good career, no kids no ex's and decent credit. I can't speak for the rest of black male America, but I am getting really tired of being blamed for everything from the decline of western civilization to bitter sisters not getting the black husband they feel they are owed.
When I was in college I got one of those "looks" from a group of black ladies when I stopped into a Denny's after a night out with my white date. The irony was that the ringleader of that little triad of self righteousness had turned me down for a date less than a week before.
When you're looking for a combination Barack/Denzel/MLK you're not going to find a good real man. And the good real men will find someone who loves them for who they are. Race notwithstanding-
Posted By:
anniemcw at 05/06/2008 9:23:33 AM
Comment:
Please expalin...why is it that I can't find my Barack/Denzel/MLK combo?
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Posted By:
Oasis at 04/29/2008 8:05:18 PM
Comment:
I'm a 45 year old black man with a BA in education, a good career, no kids no ex's and decent credit. I can't speak for the rest of black male America, but I am getting really tired of being blamed for everything from the decline of western civilization to bitter sisters not getting the black husband they feel they are owed.
When I was in college I got one of those "looks" from a group of black ladies when I stopped into a Denny's after a night out with my white date. The irony was that the ringleader of that little triad of self righteousness had turned me down for a date less than a week before.
When you're looking for a combination Barack/Denzel/MLK you're not going to find a good real man. And the good real men will find someone who loves them for who they are. Race notwithstanding -
Posted By:
rainydaiyz at 04/29/2008 6:12:42 PM
Comment:
Keep doing what you do Sis. More power to ya. Your prince will find you. There's a whole lot of us out here just like you. I've got 2 years of celibacy and counting and very proud of it. And if more of black women were doing what we are doing (being celibate). Then the brothers WOULD be trying to get married because they woudn't be able to get any sex otherwise... -
Posted By:
duly_Noted at 04/28/2008 11:16:59 AM
Comment:
"Surprisingly, at the beginning of the new millennium, nearly 45 percent of black men had never been married."
That would be ages 18-99 I assume. But what about those in YOUR specific demographic? I've a hunch that's a vastly different percentage.
"My personal preference has always been chocolate. I've dated vanilla, a few times, but it just doesn't have the je ne sais quoi"
Didn???t it? I wonder why? Romances really don't have an external "it". They are the sum of their parts: you and him. So either he didn't have it or you didn't have it. Your own admission that it was absent from all the romances you've had with 'vanilla??? identifies you as the common denominator. In other words, it wasn't there because of YOU, not their vanilla, perhaps because you can???t see past their whiteness.
???There are also cultural and background similarities, and the ease, comfort, and familiarity that I have when I'm in the company of the same flavor??? Mocha Chocalata.???
This will certainly come as a big surprise to all those happy couples in inter-racial relationships in which ease, comfort, and familiarity are key components. What are they doing that you???re not? Looking past each others??? skin color perhaps?
???Our union lasted six months.???
For such a confessional soul, you???re unusually cryptic about your failed marriage. Generally, men don???t pull the plug after just six months ??? unless something was really out of whack. Are you hiding something?
???Add to that the small pool of eligible, professional black men - in my post graduate school life - who don't have children out of wedlock or from a previous marriage??? and it's a recipe for a weakening of the black middle class..???
I was a single father for ten years; I got custody of my son when he was 3. I have two children out of wedlock and two others from a previous marriage. I share joint custody. Help me understand how I???m weakening the black middle class, in your opinion.
???If I had really wanted to have sex in the last decade, I could have. But as much as I miss the exhilaration and intimacy of being with a man, I'm not desperate.???
Or horny, given that you???ve voluntarily gone ten years without sex. Maybe the reason you have is simply because, unlike people with a healthy sex drive, you can? I suspect that your apparent lack of interest in sex has subtly contributed to your ten-year hiatus from romance.
Did your ex-husband bolting from the marriage after just six months have anything at all to do with your non-existent sex drive? Just askin'... -
Posted By:
duly_Noted at 04/28/2008 11:09:11 AM
Comment:
"Surprisingly, at the beginning of the new millennium, nearly 45 percent of black men had never been married."
That would be ages 18-99 I assume. But what about those in YOUR specific demographic? I've a hunch that's a vastly different percentage.
"My personal preference has always been chocolate. I've dated vanilla, a few times, but it just doesn't have the je ne sais quoi"
Didn???t it? I wonder why? Romances really don't have an external "it". They are the sum of their parts: you and him. So either he didn't have it or you didn't have it. Your own admission that it was absent from all the romances you've had with 'vanilla??? identifies you as the common denominator. In other words, it wasn't there because of YOU, not their vanilla, perhaps because you can???t see past their whiteness.
???There are also cultural and background similarities, and the ease, comfort, and familiarity that I have when I'm in the company of the same flavor??? Mocha Chocalata.???
This will certainly come as a big surprise to all those happy couples in inter-racial relationships in which ease, comfort, and familiarity are key components. What are they doing that you???re not? Looking past each others??? skin color perhaps?
???Our union lasted six months.???
For such a confessional soul, you???re unusually cryptic about your failed marriage. Generally, men don???t pull the plug after just six months ??? unless something was really out of whack. Are you hiding something?
???Add to that the small pool of eligible, professional black men - in my post graduate school life - who don't have children out of wedlock or from a previous marriage??? and it's a recipe for a weakening of the black middle class..???
I was a single father for ten years; I got custody of my son when he was 3. I have two children out of wedlock and two others from a previous marriage. I share joint custody. Help me understand how I???m weakening the black middle class, in your opinion.
???If I had really wanted to have sex in the last decade, I could have. But as much as I miss the exhilaration and intimacy of being with a man, I'm not desperate.???
Or horny, given that you???ve voluntarily gone ten years without sex. Maybe the reason you have is simply because you can?-
Posted By:
miss_chukwu at 04/30/2008 4:21:48 PM
Comment:
duly_noted, you do not have to insult the woman and be sarcastic to get your point across.
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Posted By:
rnorman1066 at 04/27/2008 2:54:06 PM
Comment:
I don't think this problem is especially limited to black women, although I admit finding appropriate black men could be a problem. I know many, many white women who spend years alone without finding an educated man who wants to marry. And most of those years are celibate -
Posted By:
rnorman1066 at 04/27/2008 2:52:17 PM
Comment:
I'm not sure this problem is limited to black woman. I know many white women who can't find an educated man who wants to marry and haven't had sex in an even LONGER time. -
Posted By:
sisil at 04/26/2008 1:47:32 PM
Comment:
As a Jewish woman I can totally identify. There are far too many Jewish and Black women out there who are smart, funny, pretty, and lonely. I believe we are two groups destined to pine after men who, due to silly pre-concieved notions, want blond hair, and blue eyes. I tried to fix up a gorgeous, and smart black girlfriend of mine with a black co-worker. The minute he heard she was the same color as him he lost interest! That's it!!!!!
There is so little effort in the Jewish and Black communities to give us the opportunity to meet and connect with other singles. While I've gone to the half-hearted attempts at singles events I've seen my black girlfriends go to these events with nothing to show for it. Jdate is okay, but can get really tough if you don't live in a huge city with a large variety of people.
I've personally tried to organize events in the Jewish community but those married folks who run things seem to be working against success in this arena.
Its sad that we are already burdened by prejudice in the wider world, but to also have that prejudice inside of our communities making it difficult to find a mate is even harder.
I have heard the same from Black friends who within organizations have been shot down for just bringing up the idea of just one singles happy hour just to see if there would be any interest. I think the idea of trying it at least once, and it doesn't cost anything or take much effort, would have been worth it.
Minority communities must make a real effort at matchmaking (old fashioned but it works), and bringing together singles of similar culture. If that doesn't happen then there may not be a distinct culture to speak of in a few generations. Its hard to be single and searching.... People need to realize that and work with us singles, not against us. -
Posted By:
XJSGUY at 04/26/2008 1:28:19 PM
Comment:
I'm an older white guy.
I was born in Chicago of tighty whitey parents surrounded by a tighty whitey family who used all the old BS cliches which are still commonly used by racists of all races and genders.
My interests led me to places that allowed me to be myself and discover my own interests/preferences, etc.
As a jazz musician, I was privileged to meet some black kids my age.
While the music was the impetus which initially brought us together, it was our own independent thinking which allowed us to become friends.
The words which jumped out at me in Ms Mabry's article were, "black man", "black men", etc.
I feel fortunate that my experiences allowed me to learn that there was so much to be enjoyed by going beyond these stereotypical preferences.
While she seemed to be whining about a lack of a fullfilling sex life, if she doesn't begin to realize that sex is only ONE aspect of a good relqationship.
To limit your prefences based upon race/ethnicity is to limit your opportunities of meeting someone who might be a great find.
Could it be that she is limited by the expectations of others?
Make your OWN choices. -
Posted By:
XJSGUY at 04/26/2008 1:24:15 PM
Comment:
I'm an older white guy.
I was born in Chicago of tighty whitey parents surrounded by a tighty whitey family who used all the old BS cliches which are still commonly used by racists of all races and genders.
My interests led me to places that allowed me to be myself and discover my own interests/preferences, etc.
As a jazz musician, I was privileged to meet some black kids my age.
While the music was the impetus which initially brought us together, it was our own independent thinking which allowed us to become friends.
The words which jumped out at me in Ms Mabry's article were, "black man", "black men", etc.
I feel fortunate that my experiences allowed me to learn that there was so much to be enjoyed by going beyond these stereotypical preferences.
While she seemed to be whining about a lack of a fullfilling sex life, if she doesn't begin to realize that sex is only ONE aspect of a good relqationship.
To limit your prefences based upon race/ethnicity is to limit your opportunities of meeting someone who might be a great find, especially if it's to meet the judgementalism of others. -
Posted By:
XJSGUY at 04/26/2008 1:22:58 PM
Comment:
I'm an older white guy.
I was born in Chicago of tighty whitey parents surrounded by a tighty whitey family who used all the old BS cliches which are still commonly used by racists of all races and genders.
My interests led me to places that allowed me to be myself and discover my own interests/preferences, etc.
As a jazz musician, I was privileged to meet some black kids my age.
While the music was the impetus which initially brought us together, it was our own independent thinking which allowed us to become friends.
The words which jumped out at me in Ms Mabry's article were, "black man", "black men", etc.
I feel fortunate that my experiences allowed me to learn that there was so much to be enjoyed by going beyond these stereotypical preferences.
While she seemed to be whining about a lack of a fullfilling sex life, if she doesn't begin to realize that sex is only ONE aspect of a good relqationship.
To limit your prefences based upon race/ethnicity and/or the judgementalism of others is to limit your opportunities of meeting someone who might be a great find. -
Posted By:
XJSGUY at 04/26/2008 1:21:41 PM
Comment:
I'm an older white guy.
I was born in Chicago of tighty whitey parents surrounded by a tighty whitey family who used all the old BS cliches which are still commonly used by racists of all races and genders.
My interests led me to places that allowed me to be myself and discover my own interests/preferences, etc.
As a jazz musician, I was privileged to meet some black kids my age.
While the music was the impetus which initially brought us together, it was our own independent thinking which allowed us to become friends.
The words which jumped out at me in Ms Mabry's article were, "black man", "black men", etc.
I feel fortunate that my experiences allowed me to learn that there was so much to be enjoyed by going beyond these stereotypical preferences.
While she seemed to be whining about a lack of a fullfilling sex life, if she doesn't begin to realize that sex is only ONE aspect of a good relqationship.
To limit your prefences based upon race/ethnicity is to limit your opportunities of meeting someone who might be a great find. -
Posted By:
retired at 04/26/2008 11:52:44 AM
Comment:
No male, regardless of color, can "walk on water." Perhaps the celibate would feel more fulfilled if relationships with the same sex were pursued.
Sounds like the lifestyle fits pretty well. -
Posted By:
retired at 04/26/2008 11:47:53 AM
Comment:
No man, regardless of color, can walk on water. Perhaps our celibate should ry the other sex. -
Posted By:
The Big G at 04/26/2008 9:08:14 AM
Comment:
WOULD HAVE TO AGREE WITH 'WHITE AS TOAST': WHERE YOU ARE LIVING DOES AFFECT YOUR LIFE, ESP IS SOME SOCIAL ELEMENT IS MISSING.
WHAT IF IT WAS A WHITE PERSON IN A BLACK MILIEU?
THIS OVERGROWN VIRGIN NEEDS TO SPROUT WINGS AND FLY, NEST, AND MATE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
SHE'S LIMITING HERSELF EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY, AND SEXUALLY.
AND WOMEN MORESO THAN MEN SET THEMSELVES UP FOR THIS KIND OF FAILURE. -
Posted By:
mikemccathy at 04/26/2008 4:10:29 AM
Comment:
I respect you for waiting for what is right for you. I went 5 years without serious emotional attachment (and sex) in my late twenties until I was lucky enough to find my wife. I could have gotten laid but it wasn't right. The women I could have slept with wanted something in return I knew I couldn't give. On the other hand, there were women I wanted who didn't want me; probably for the same reason.
Good for you that you have waited. I am appalled by the derogatory comments that impute some sort of failure to you for not finding a mate. I especially find Tim Robertson's comments pathetic.
cplatinum is worth listening to but that never felt right to me.
Good luck. -
Posted By:
Anje at 04/26/2008 1:22:55 AM
Comment:
Dear Ms. Mabry: Many young people, in Europe at least, have the same kind of problem. But in Europe we still go out in groups, so one gets to know each other a bit, before actually dating. And havind a relationship with someone with another skin color is very common here. So come and visit and I'll introduce you to my two sons and their friends. Anje V-J. -
Posted By:
queencityguitar at 04/25/2008 10:09:37 PM
Comment:
I too, have entered into a state of forced celibacy due to a divorce. I'm 46 and it's been nearly eight years since I've had an intimate relationship. I'm not going to tell you my ethnic identity. That's exactly what you have assigned yourself. An ethnic identity with a story. A female, ethnic identity that is.
I will admit this. I'm a man. I have dated women since my divorce and each were decent, respectable people in their own right. They deserve to have an intimate
relationship with someone, the right someone. That has been my biggest lesson during these past years. That having an intimate relationship is a profound experience that should only be shared between two people that have the ability to experience a mutual respect. Aretha Franklin sang about it. And I now understand it firsthand. It's very rare in American society. Respect is also one of the most standard of qualities desired throughout all of the world's societies. When it's shared, something special can happen, but only then. The respect I speak of is not the kind you give to a stranger in polite interaction. Respect that only two lovers can share. You are looking for something unique and rare indeed, and I wish you the best. -
Posted By:
reporterkellogg at 04/25/2008 9:59:11 PM
Comment:
I looked this woman up online -- and w/ all due respect -- if she is involved in the local theatre group I found her name attached to in Colorado, there's like a half dozen black men there, if not more, just to begin w/ (Google Image search her name minus the middle initial and a 40-ish-looking b. woman in Co. comes right up). I understand it's rough out there -- but you can't blame no sex in 10 years on the failings of men (or society, etc.), that simply can't explain it. I have come to feel that you sometimes see black women -- particularly American born, and I do apologize for saying this in a public forum -- who are so wed to a particular type of black man that they never engage any of the real life ones out there that might interest them. That said, I know this is a huge problem and clearly the common nature of similar experiences, if less extreme usually, speaks to this. Still, if you won't date outside the race much either -- and simply can't find anyone in 10 years you'd like to sleep w/ for god's sake -- you are absolutely positively doing something so wrong that it can't be blamed on anyone else much but you. Plus this piece just isn't much illuminating -- it's all shock value, and I blame the editors for this more so than the author.-
Posted By:
GoGoBear at 04/29/2008 1:07:17 PM
Comment:
As a Black man I can say you are closer to the truth than you know.
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Posted By:
Okra at 04/25/2008 9:25:16 PM
Comment:
I reallly admire you for writing this and for sharing your personal and painful experience with the world. I understand all too well your wish for a mate "with whom I could be equally yoked in intelligence, ambition, values, and a mutually shared physical chemistry," as you put it.
Personally, as a graduate schooled/professional woman with African parents, I have a plethora of highly educated men from my country/tribe to choose from. Yet my heart chose the one man who did not have the education or earning potential that modern life seems to demand of BOTH partners. I haven't decided what I will do yet, but one thing is for sure: education and ambition do not equal intelligence, social grace, compassion, kindness, and generosity. And rather than wait and wonder if you can get all those things in the same man, wouldn't it make more sense to pick a man who had at least the intelligence and kindness and generosity, even if he didn't have the other things?
I don't know how many times a love like this will come around for me. So maybe you might consider altering your expectations somewhat? Peace to you, sister. -
Posted By:
roxanne at 04/25/2008 8:50:54 PM
Comment:
In spanish there is saying that translates to: Better alone than in bad company. Kudos to you for not accepting less. -
Posted By:
Freesia at 04/25/2008 8:11:08 PM
Comment:
Interesting. To the author, I would say while I admire your fortitude, its time to spread your wings and consider areas where more black men appreciate black women. There are plenty of areas in the country where you will find the connection you seek. I wouldn't naively state that there aren't fewer "available" black men, but I will say that decent black men who love black women still do exist. In regards to your location, I recently dated a brother who had moved from DC to live in CO for a year. He had no qualms about stating that he had not dated a black woman the entire time he lived in CO because as he put it, he "didnt leave DC to move to CO to date a black woman". Needless to say that turned me off immensely and we no longer communicate on that level. My last point is that the internet is not anything to be embarrassed about. Many true and lasting connections have been made through that source. If it wasnt for the internet, my dating experience would probably be non-existent, because unless he is at Starbucks, Walmart Super Target or Borders the exact time im there, our paths will never cross. Keep your head up and keep hope alive. -
Posted By:
dajhilton at 04/25/2008 7:13:47 PM
Comment:
What a sad article. I can't help but point out the obvious. First, it's the 21st-century and it's never, in the history of humankind, been easier to meet someone who fits your criteria. Second, if you don't see the complete insanity of letting other people's views on what are 'proper' or 'appropriate' ways to meet people -- bars are ok, but the internet is not?? what kind of logic is that -- then you truly do condemn yourself to further unhappiness. There is only one appropriate way to meet the man of your dreams, and that is a way that is logical and works. Nowadays, it probably is the internet. It might even be your local library, Starbucks, gym, or bookstore. But if it a place where people meet, then it is good no matter what smile-minded people think. -
Posted By:
nmleeds at 04/25/2008 7:11:32 PM
Comment:
As sorry as I feel for Ms. Mabry one can't feel too sorry. She's from Boulder "white as toast" Colorado, and presumeably moved back there, or to one of the near towns. As a fellow Boulder native I can say that if dating diversity is what you crave the high plains are a desert. But not for everyone. Colorado is a place that fights harder against ageing than any place I've ever been. And when this battle isn't being waged on a mountain top or at a wheat grass juice bar it is being fought in the bedroom.
When my mother and father divorced in their 50's I was shocked to find them surrounded by eligables interested in everything from a night to a life.
So what is our re-virgin's problem? Black men? I think not, the Colorado sample size (3) is hardly enough to form a conclusion? Being an intelligent single women? Not as long as Patagonia and Krocks are still in business.
Or maybe the more personal problem of looking for something that you know you won't find, or can't get. We all make this mistake. I think it has something to do with the bruising of high school. But by 40 its time to give up on the guy who never asked you out at the high school dance, learn to enjoy the people around you, and find one who's nice in bed. -
Posted By:
Cannonball at 04/25/2008 6:59:34 PM
Comment:
Having worked with the publice for over 35 years, I have encounter many, many women voicing much of the same things. Many times, it's just over thinking the situation. You can't taste the wind, if you're always covering up. A leap of faith isn't really nessasary. Just except-the-warts-and-all approach, because there is no perfect place to land. Plus, that the fun. Working to smooth the bumps... -
Posted By:
Tim Robertson at 04/25/2008 6:57:52 PM
Comment:
This article is all posturing and excuses until the kicker in the last few paragraphs. It was never "I couldn't find a compatible black man" or "I was shy" or "I was a late bloomer." 3/4 of an article of excuses. It all came down to the fact you refused to put out with out "the possiblity of a relationship." And you are reaping the consequences of your actions.
Don't expect anyone to feel sorry for you. Like the typical (American) woman, you think you have the golden vagina and that somehow it is more special than any other vagina. And since you subscribed to the typical shitty attitude (American) women have towards sexuality and relationships, you are laying in the mess you made. Did you ever once consider "Gee, I really like this guy. Maybe if I put out for him early and show him that I enjoy sex and that I'm wild in the sack, maybe he'll stick around?" Of course you didn't, because you believed that your vagina was special.
Let me tell you something, honey, BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS! You think that anyone, especially anyone who is 1) attractive and 2) young, is going to put up with a 40 year old who continues to play games? You can't be picky, if any guy shows any remote interest in a single 40 year old woman, you should BONE HIM IMMEDIATELY. And maybe, just maybe, if you BONE THIS GUY enough, maybe he'll be interested in you. As you have painfully found out, the games you play when you're young and attractive don't work once you start going downhill at age 30.
You want to know the solution to your problem: QUIT BEING A TYPICAL ENTITLED AMERICAN *** AND JUST PUT OUT! PUT OUT! Do I have to say it again? PUT OUT. And just maybe, short of a miracle, someone actually might be interested in a relationship with you. It doesn't work the other way around anymore, honey. -
Posted By:
maverick at 04/25/2008 6:44:06 PM
Comment:
It feels good to know that I am not the only one how hasn???t been riding the hobby horse for a long time. The first time I had sex was when I was 15 and the last time was when I was 18. Today I am a bit over 33 and a bit closer to 34. That???s almost 15 years. Oh my god, for a guy that???s really creepy. When I turned 19 I decided to abstain till I found the right person. I have this belief that I want to make out only with the person I would truly love. I am the kind of guy who never has any luck with the girls and it takes me ages to fall in love.
Here???s to us, the born again virgins; best wishes -
Posted By:
j.jones at 04/25/2008 6:41:45 PM
Comment:
seems to me your looking for an "equal," may be you should be looking for a "compliment."-
Posted By:
StairsAndFlowers at 04/29/2008 2:46:46 PM
Comment:
Succinct and to the point. I like that. I think you nailed it on the head.
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