Drew Angerer/Getty Images

There are three questions for which black America has never received a satisfactory answer:

  1. Why is the word “swole” never mentioned in the list of great black inventions?
  2. Did we ever get a satisfactory answer to who in the hell left the gate open (and, perchance, was it the same person who let the dogs out)?
  3. Why won’t Charles Barkley shut the fuck up?

Does anyone even listen to him at this point? Let’s set aside his basketball commentary for a minute (where I still find him to be the NBA’s most consistently entertaining and insightful commentator). Is there anyone who thinks that Barkley’s statements about race reveal anything other than his repeated willingness to throw black people under the bus for our stupid unwillingness to assimilate into whiteness?

Advertisement

Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sure some educated, right-leaning Negro conservative has already jumped in the comment section typing in all italics (because a black Republican would never use all caps, like a savage) about how “black people are not a monolith” and something about questioning people’s blackness. But let’s be honest—we all have a friend, co-worker or cousin who believes that the white man’s ice is a few degrees colder, and no one exemplifies the black man’s subconscious acceptance of white superiority more than Barkley.

The “Round Assclown of Rebound” was at it again Thursday, talking about politics and race with journalist Rick Karle, and as usual, he took white people’s side of the issue.

I’m not gonna waste my time thinking about these Confederate statues. That’s wasted energy. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna keep doing great things. I’m gonna keep trying to make a difference, number one in the black community, because I’m black, but I’m also gonna try to do good things in the world.

I’m not gonna waste my time screaming at a neo-Nazi who’s gonna hate me no matter what, and I’m not gonna waste my time ... worrying about these statues they got all over the country.

While that might sound a little benign, you must remember that Barkley only recently discovered racism after someone at TNT had the bright idea to let a man whose primary achievement in life was his uncanny ability to catch a basketball when someone else missed host a show about the intricacies of race in America. Unsurprisingly, Barkley, whose viewpoints consistently coincide with those of the oppressors of black America, decided that the best way to solve the race problem in America was to make a space on his national platform for white supremacist Richard Spencer.

But it was the second part of Barkley’s comments on Thursday that really raised eyebrows and tightened anuses:

What we as black people need to do, we need to worry about getting our education. We need to stop killing each other. We need to try to find a way to have more economic opportunity and things like that. Those things are important and significant.

Apparently, Barkley believes that black people aren’t worried about “getting our education.” He parrots the same perspective as white people who interrupt every black liberation argument with, “But what about black-on-black crime?” He obviously believes that black people miss out on economic opportunities because we are in the club “making it rain” or buying big rims for our shiny new cars.

Advertisement

Here’s an important piece of advice: Whenever anyone begins a sentence with “What we as black people need to do is ... ,” stop listening immediately. What is sure to follow will either be:

  1. A platitude you can get from any corner barbershop like “Unite, and trust in Jesus”
  2. Something very Hotepish that combines the wisdom of ancient Egypt with jailhouse logic
  3. White-people solutions

You’ve heard white-people solutions before. “White-people solutions” are the Caucasian answers to all black problems: “White people circulate their dollar 120,333 times in the white community before it leaves their neighborhood.” “White people start reading to their kids when they are still a sperm.” “White people invest their money in stocks, pork futures and private prisons.”

To be clear, these aren’t solutions for or by white people. Instead, they are the imaginings of black people who are white supremacists. Black white supremacists believe that the only correct way to do things is how they envision the white man would do it. A black white supremacist could never find anything wrong with a white man’s methodology, so he or she continually contorts him- or herself to end up on the Caucasian side of the argument.

And this is the difference between independent thinkers and black white supremacists. Most independent thinkers sometimes have legitimate disagreements with the accepted opinions of black America, but black white supremacists never find fault with white America, which means that everything ailing black people is black people’s fault. For them, nothing—not even the monuments of white supremacy—is the fault of racism. We’re just doing it wrong.

I could explain to Barkley that a black child is more likely to go to an underfunded school, and how America spends $355 more per white student than it does on nonwhite students. I could point out that 84 percent of white people are killed by other white people, but no one ever mentions white-on-white crime. I could reveal to Barkley the disparities in business loans and hiring practices, but none of it would make any difference.

Advertisement

Apparently, we don’t focus enough on education and money, like the smart, genius Caucasians do, so ... umm ... that’s why the statues shouldn’t come down. Barkley answered a question about monuments to white supremacy by going into a rant about black-on-black crime and insinuating that it somehow had something to do with black people being dumb and poor. Because Barkley doesn’t want to hear logic. He is a true believer in the infallibility and superiority of whiteness.

Because Charles Barkley is a white supremacist.