llbiggestloserutah
Courtesy: NBC

Frankly, I didn’t even know these things existed until I read this USA Today story. I’ve talked about so-called “fat camps” in the past, but those are geared toward teens. I don’t know about places for adults. Maybe if I took the time to research them, surely I would have come across these resorts.

If you’re like me, you’ve scoffed at the insanity that is NBC’s The Biggest Loser, yet secretly wondered what it would be like to participate. (I’ve often wondered why no one on the show has stretch marks, but maybe that’s just me.)

I wouldn’t want to be on national television – this blog is enough exposure, thankyouverymuch – but these resorts promise Loser-like experiences. The first boot-camp location – The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge Ivins – opened in 2009 in Utah. Actually, the NBC folks took over an existing, top-10 spa, renaming it after the show.

Next weekend is the grand opening of The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge Malibu. Malibu costs more than Ivins, but not much. Still, the rates are kinda scary. I pulled this info from the Malibu website:

·        Private Accommodations: A guestroom all to yourself.
One Week: $2,695
Four Weeks: $10,000 ($2,500 weekly rate)

·        Semi-Private Accommodations: a private bedroom with a shared bathroom.
One Week: $2,595
Four Weeks: $9,600 ($2,400 weekly rate)

·        Double Occupancy Accommodations: All rooms have one Queen sized bed. A double occupancy guestroom is available for guests sharing a room with their spouse or partner.
One Week: $2,295
Four Weeks: $8,400 ($2,100 weekly rate)

·        Off-site Accommodations: You stay off-site in accommodations you arrange for yourself.
One Week: $1,995
Four Weeks: $7,200 ($1,800 weekly rate)

I’m not going to lie. I want to go. One week would be good; two weeks, even better. I would like the private accommodations, natch. It would be fun to go with a friend, but the double-occupancy rooms only have one, queen-sized bed. Um . . . no. The last thing I’d want to do after a day of strenuous exercise is share a bed with a non-spouse. I mean, we’re not talking about two Skinny Minnies, you know.

So, two weeks would be around $5500 with taxes. Here’s what you get for your moolah: morning hikes; all manner of fitness classes, including water aerobics and kickboxing; nutrition education and cooking demos. There’s also myriad spa services, but those cost extra.

Tempting, tempting, tempting. I think what appeals to me most is that it’s not camp-like, but spa-like. No bunk beds, no group bathrooms. I didn’t see this on the site, but the USA Today story states “meals are heavy on grains, vegetables, poultry and fish. No white sugar. No coffee. And of course, no booze.”

If any of you has been to one of these resorts, spill. I want all the deets. Meantime, I’ll stick to my own gym’s boot camp, which will now be on Tuesday and Friday mornings for the next six weeks. I’m looking forward to that.

Booze is optional.

I really don't think I need buns of steel.  I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.  ~   Ellen DeGeneres

Leslie J. Ansley is an award-winning journalist and entrepreneur who blogs daily for TheRoot. She lives in Raleigh, NC.