President Obama didn’t grow up with a father, so he can be forgiven for grinding the ever-popular “irresponsible black father” axe. “”If we are honest with ourselves,” he said, “we’ll admit that… too many fathers also are missing–missing from too many lives and too many homes. They have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.”
Barack Obama is out of pocket.
If the Dad in Chief really cared about the state of black America and the black family, he would retire the worn-out tropes and consider ratifying outmoded laws that encourage and support single motherhood. He would make it easier for men to keep and enforce thier parental rights. And he would stop suggesting that black men are animals with no human connection to their own children and make women at least as responsible for thier own failures and bad choices. There is almost always two sides to the story. It’s never as simple as “father leaves child.” Black men are no animals.
I write about father’s issues alot, because I’m a single dad. Most of my male friends are single dads, and not by choice. All the men I know, up to and including my father, have had to fight in one way or another to stay in thier child’s life. And I know many men, from all walks of life. What’s that about?
Most men are on the other end of divorce, as women file far more often than men. We presume that the man did something heinous to precipitate it — like wearing a bubble coat or drinking cocoa when he should have been drinking coffee, girl! — but I don’t know if that’s a safe assumption.
But let’s assume that Dude is a sh*t-heel. Fine.
FACT: No matter what may have caused your particular break-up, the father doesn’t lose rights to his children. I mean, even Rasputin probably got liberal visiation, so the fact that a father’s parental rights are always intact, no matter how evil his deeds, should be a given, right? WRONG. I promise you that if a woman does not want a man to see or have contact with his children — step-children, or kids you all may have made Ye Olde Fashioned Way — the man will have to shell out thousands upon thousands upon thousand upon thousands upon thousands of dollars to get Da White Man to enforce rights that are his on principle. Promise. Anyone telling you that it’s easy and you should do what it takes and pay what it cost like it’s a walk in the park is batsh*t and/or a woman. Women don’t know anything about having to fight for custody, and the way the system is geared, they never will. Because a woman can be jobless, degree-less, tooth-less, cooth-less, on crack, living in a house made of crack, sitting on bean-bag furniture filled with crack with six syphillitic mongoloid boyfriends living in the basement cooking crack on a crack-fire and a judge will still make you prove that you are the better parent. Square Biz.
But, of course, you should do what it takes– but it takes alot, and if you don’t have that kind of loot, you are ass-out. Because the state will send The A-Team looking for you if you owe child support — and maybe they should, right?– but if you are a man, there are no hard laws to secure your right to see your child. She will suffer no penalites by withholding your kids from you. And the kicker is, even after you lawyer-up, the authorities may or may not enforce the few rights you DO have. You will have a hard time and spend alot of money trying to father your children if an angry woman decides to use the children as a pawn, as angry women are wont to do. And that’s not all.