Folks, the editors here are kicking me to the curb. They said I didn’t lose enough weight for them to allow me to continue. I was so depressed, I baked a cake and ate the whole thing.
(Are you actually falling for any of this?)
Seriously, though, they are kicking me out. Because I have a nine-minute memory span, I honestly cannot recall all the details of the conversation, but the reasons have something to do with a coming redesign, and therefore ditching bloggers for space considerations, and of course $$$.
My blog started on the Root in mid-February with the ambitious goal of losing 100 pounds in one year. Why not? Other people have done it. But while I had dropped as much as 50 pounds at one point, I’ve put quite a bit of that back on.
I’ve always tried to be as honest and upfront as possible, but I wasn’t comfortable dealing with certain subjects, so my regular readers – and boy, do I love you guys! – never really got the full story about all the things I’ve been going through, and there’s been a lot of deep stuff.
Well, all that’s changing. Writing, for me, has always been cathartic, and lately it hasn’t been because I’ve been reluctant – afraid? – to be as truthful as necessary to continue in this forum. As a result, I’ve been the only one hurting, the only one stressed out, the only one awake all hours of the night.
And the only one (re)gaining weight.
The good news is, I’m stronger than ever. 2010 was a great year for me, one of personal and professional growth. And yes, emotional growth, because I can now tell you this: I’ve been married 24 years. There may not be a 25th.
No, don’t feel sorry for me. I believe it’s the best thing under the circumstances, and I firmly believe we’ll both be a lot happier with each other as a result. I know I certainly will. The thing is, though, carrying around this extra set of baggage, if you will, has definitely contributed to extra baggage around my hips.