(The Root) — Apparently Tuesday night, when we were all glued to election coverage on major news networks like CNN and MSNBC, we should have been tuning in to Comedy Central, because its Election Night show told it like it really was.
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart (Tuesday, 11 p.m. ET; Comedy Central)
" 'Hey, girl. It's Joe Biden. Can I borrow $15? You know, for some hot wings?' —A pretty standard Biden form letter." —Jessica Williams, Obama HQ
"Mitt Romney? No, no. He took a sip of Diet Coke three hours ago and passed out in a pool of his own vomit." —Aasif Mandvi, Romney HQ
Highlights: Here's the "true" story about last night's election: While the broke Dems were flooding our in-boxes with last-second requests for cash, Team Romney was already partying, seven-words-you-can't-say-on-TV style.
Awww … perhaps it was a bit premature. Wouldja like a hot wing, Willard?
"The real winner tonight is Hilary Clinton." —Wyatt Cenac
Highlights: Over the excitement of President Obama's re-election yet? Well, you should be. Wyatt Cenac and Al Madrigal are already predicting the candidates and winners for 2016. Hillary Clinton will reach older, white male voters by choosing a solid running mate in a Chevy Impala or a can of beer. And Jeb Bush might just go for Tyler Perry's Madea.
Celeste Little is an editorial intern at The Root.