Being Mary Jane
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Let’s just take a moment to admit that Mama Patterson was right about Mary Jane telling all her business on TV. M.J. finds out on the air at the end of the egg-freezing procedure that she only has four 6 mm follicles. In layman’s terms: The chances of her getting pregnant are looking grim, although she can try the procedure again. Gayle King (yes, Oprah’s BFF) is in the studio to give the background reporting on modern-day motherhood while M.J. is live in the doctor’s office. The cameras are rolling because Kara wants ratings by any means necessary.

M.J. is an emotional wreck, so Gayle offers to sign off, but Kara lets her know that M.J. will sign off her own damn show. Thank you very much. As soon as the camera cuts off, M.J. lets Kara have it. Kara tries to save face with a speech about the compassion women will feel after seeing her story. All M.J. wants to know is where was her friend’s compassion when she was pushing her to go back on the air after she found out the devastating news. M.J. has a point, though she has only herself to blame for agreeing to the story in the first place.

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Mrs. Patterson is on the phone with M.J.’s bestie, Lisa, in a frenzy over it all playing out on TV: “She can’t have babies, and now the whole damn world knows.” Mama Patterson is old school, so she doesn’t understand how a woman waits 40 years to decide she wants babies and then spreads her legs in the doctor’s office for the world to see.

No more fertility treatments means that the first thing Mary Jane does is pour herself a drink while listening to all her voice mails from concerned loved ones. David calls to check on her but makes it abundantly clear that he’s not leaving his baby mama anytime soon. How in the world are they supposed to move on with constant contact?

Lisa is sitting in M.J.’s backyard waiting for her. Not creepy at all. M.J. isn’t in the mood for Lisa’s self-righteous preaching. Lisa says that M.J.’s life is not conducive to a having a baby because she works all the time and makes poor decisions. True. This gives M.J. carte blanche to get nasty by mentioning the oral sex Lisa used to give repeatedly as a substitute for sex.

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The real tea behind this frenemy relationship is that Lisa used to like (or date) David, then M.J. started dating him after Lisa would only refer to him as a friend. “Wake up, he didn’t want you,” M.J. says.

“Well, now you know how that feels,” Lisa responds.

Why are they friends, when Lisa clearly envies M.J.’s life? How does M.J. have any friends, given how she treats people? Why can’t M.J. accept constructive criticism? So many questions.

David pops up unannounced with her faves, tulips. It’s the same song and dance. He’s not coming back. She can’t move on. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Meanwhile, Niecy is having a hard time letting Cameron be a father to their son, Treyvion. Mama Patterson pulls her aside to let her know to ease up on Cameron. Grandmother and granddaughter have a loving moment when Mrs. Patterson tells Niecy that she believes she can turn her life around. Niecy finally apologizes. They hug. It’s a Hallmark moment.

M.J.’s younger brother, Paul, needs an investor for his retirement-community development. He talks to his dad about it, who suggests David. Paul says that he doesn’t want to upset M.J. but doesn’t hesitate to ask David for a $5 million commitment. When David asks Paul if M.J. is cool with it, Paul lies about her even being aware of it.

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Papa Patterson shows up at M.J.’s with Krispy Kreme doughnuts in tow. Listen. Krispy Kreme can cure all the blues. He’s not convinced his only daughter even wants a baby. Nothing has stopped M.J. from achieving all her other goals, so why no baby? M.J. explains that it’s not that easy to snag a husband.

Then Papa Patterson gives a Holy Ghost-worthy sermon about her finding her happiness. He doesn’t want his baby girl aspiring to what he and her mother have. It’s clear that she wants David as she sulks in his college T-shirt. Daddy says to go get him despite his messy situation with a baby on the way.

I don’t know that my father would suggest I “go get” a man who has another woman pregnant. Sounds like drama waiting in the wings. But I’ll be damned if his happiness spiel wasn’t on point.

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Mary Jane decides to try to get pregnant with the four eggs despite her doctor’s recommendation against it. This time she’s wisened up to at least leave the cameras in the newsroom, where they belong.