Out-of-Touch Romney: Move Back to Detroit

In an imaginary war room, Mitt Romney's aides strategize about ways to fix his image problem.

(Continued from Page 1)

Senior strategist: Well, Mitt does like Brooks Brothers' slim-fit shirts. Ann loves Burberry. And Mormons, for the record, don't drink coffee.

Like The Root on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.

Jim: Exactly. We've been sending out Mrs. Romney to humanize Mr. Romney, and her interview Monday with Fox's Neil Cavuto was generally fine. She looked fantastic in the gray suit and talked movingly about the rigors of presidential campaign travel and the challenge battling multiple sclerosis.

But then she said, "I don't even consider myself wealthy ... It can be here today and gone tomorrow." Guys, by anybody's measure, in any country, a family with an estimated net worth of $250 million is very, very wealthy. Stack her up against Michelle O.

Silence. It's hard to believe the black guy actually spoke.

Finally, from the senior strategist: Jim, what's your Detroit argument?

Jim: Let's move the whole campaign to Detroit, just for a week. The average house costs, what, $7,500?

Senior strategist: Ha! It'd be good to get off the East Coast, into The Other America. Too expensive.

A junior strategist speaks up: Can we buy a whole block?

Jim: Oh, yeah. The folks in Michigan would love it.