NEWS STAND: Virginia Apologies, Smoking on Planes, Tiki Barber Splits, Tax-Free Americans, and more..

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Southern Discomfort: Virginia Governor Apologizes for Slavery Omission in Confederate History Month Proclamation

Gee, thanks. That takes the sting out of a month commemorating the oppression of black folks. Like the good ol' boy that he is, Republican Gov. Robert F. McDonnell apologized for omitting slavery in his Confederate History Month proclamation. An oversight indeed, but what does one expect from a man that has decided to secure his political future by pandering to hillbillies. Said hillbillies are allegedly pissed that he offered an apology. Like it or not, the experiences of black people are relevant to the confederacy. Gov. McDonnell can keep his apology for a proclamation that falls into the better never than late category. Yes, we meant that.  We know that you're thinking that McDonnell just can't win. Funny, we're thinking he just can't lose.

Smoker Creates Bomb Scare on United Flight

Fresh from the "you've gotta be kidding me," file, a Qatari Diplomat created a bomb scare on United flight 663 from D.C. to Denver by smoking in the lavatory. Smoking hasn't been allowed on flights for at least twenty years, so he must be smoking something else. We would think that flying while brown would be enough of a deterrent to breaking the rules. The best-case scenario is that he got transported back to the early 1980s in a hot tub time machine. The worst-case scenario is that the poor guy had a nicotine craving he just couldn't kick.  One thing we know for sure is that nicotine is one helluva drug (in our best Rick James voice).

A Silver Lining: Half of US Pays No Taxes

One of the benefits of having a low income is being exempt from paying taxes. Reportedly, those making under $50,000 a year can earn enough tax credits and deductions to owe nothing. Almost half of the United States fits into that category. This statistic probably applies to some black folks since more than 16% of us are unemployed. We're glad to hear this because that black tax has been hell on us since President Obama's win. We deserve a deduction or two for all of this hate being thrown our way. Is there a sheer and utter foolishness deduction?