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That’s Whassup!

Another week of sublime blackness in the White House.

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Never has a president so effortlessly dispatched an adversary as President Obama did last Saturday night, with his single-word “Whassup?” dismissal of RNC Chair Michael Steele and his self-proclaimed “hip-hop makeover.” By the time Steele jumped out of his seat to be “recognized,” the only thing missing from the scene at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner was a Punk’d camera crew. Ashton Kutcher was, as they say, already “in the heezy.”

Does Steele really want to play this game with the president? Obama grew up black in a white household, went to school overseas, his middle name is “Hussein,” and he plays pick-up basketball in his free time—he’s been training for that monologue his whole life.

So another week passes in the life of Barack Obama. He’s still cool, calm and debonair—a regular “Barry” Grant—and he’s already brought a lot of change to the White House. But some things won’t ever change: Like Rémy in the liquor cabinet, Frankie Beverly on the iPod and Y&R on the tube at your auntie’s house, there are some things about the Obama flow that are just, well, black...

Monday—Leader of the Af-Pak

Obama was back to work after Pakistan’s President Asif Ali Zardari and Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai left town. Nothing says “I’ve got the Taliban on lockdown” like an e-mail auto-reply that reads: “As-salaam alaikum. I’m out of the office this week, with limited access to e-mail and voicemail. Doing lunch at Ben’s Chili Bowl with President Obama and then headlining Meet the Press.”

Your dad doesn’t have to be Kenyan to know that the half-smoke at Ben’s is delicious—and also haram. Make sure you get the all-beef hotdog, dog. Wa-alaikum salaam.

Tuesday—Glam Slam

It’s not quite the Beatles playing a command performance for Queen Elizabeth, but keeping things updated for the ’09, the Obamas hosted the first-ever White House free-form, poetry-jazz jam-odyssey. The revolution might not be televised, but the recital will take place in the Rose Garden.

Wednesday—The War on Errorism