Our Man in the White House

Jack White returns to the Home for Retired Racial Stereotypes to find out about Obama's secret weapon.


I found Buckwheat in the woodworking shop of the Home for Retired Racial Stereotypes, chiseling something on the face of an elaborate oaken plaque.

“What are you making?” I inquired.

“I is here carvin’ de trophy we gonna give George W. Bush if Bro’ Barack Obama wins de ‘lection,” squeaked the famous Our Gang character. “To thank him fer his heroic services to black America.”

“Oh, a joke,” I said. “You’re being tongue in cheek.”

“Aw naw I ain’t,” said Buckwheat, putting down his tools and regarding me with a look of utmost seriousness. “I’m gonna let you ‘n on a big, big secret, White. Bush bin workin’ wid us all along.”

“But that’s impossible, he’s been a terrible president,” I sputtered in disbelief. “He’s got us bogged down in two wars! The economy is shot! Thousands and thousands of black people are losing their homes in foreclosures! Civil rights laws aren’t being rigorously enforced! And…”

“I know, I know,” said Buckwheat, impatiently holding up his hand like a traffic cop to interrupt my outburst. “All dat wuz part o’ de plan.”

“Plan, what plan?” I asked.

“The secret plan Bush cooked up to ‘lect the furst black president,” snapped Buckwheat, in an exasperated tone.