No, Ayesha Curry Did Not Slut-Shame Women With Her Tweets

She Matters: She said she likes to keep it “classy” and saves showing her “good stuff” for her husband. What exactly is the problem?

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Golden State Warriors guard Stephen Curry and his wife, Ayesha

Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images

I’ve been following the drama over Ayesha Curry’s tweets from this past weekend, in which she casually chatted about her preference for wearing “classy” clothes instead of more revealing, “trendy” wears.

I’ve been throwing the illest side eye at responses in editorials, on social media and even among my friends as I read about how Mrs. Chef Curry was wrong to “say” what she did, how she’s slut-shaming women, how she’s being pompous.

Huh?

I’ve been trying to figure out what she said that was wrong here. I’ve read and reread Curry’s tweets, actively looking for the problematic part that’s got so many people riled up. And for the life of me, I can’t find it.

She didn’t tell other women what they should or should not wear. There are no Hotep respectability politics telling women that if they cover up, they’ll get what she has: a cute, famous, millionaire husband and even cuter babies. She said she likes to keep it “classy” and saves showing her “good stuff” for her husband, Stephen Curry. OK. What exactly is the problem?

There’s no one way for a woman—whether she’s married, single, a mother or child-free—to dress, or course. But why are so many people acting as if it’s wrong for a woman not to put her whole body on display? Is the issue that Curry’s tweets imply that a woman who shows off her “good stuff” isn’t classy? Is that it? And people feel a way about being told they aren’t classy?

Look, I support women wearing—or not wearing—whatever they want. Your body equals your choice. If being half-naked is your brand of empowerment, do you. But are we really trying to argue that dressing with your ass and breasts out should be called “classy,” too? Really?

Curry didn’t even use the actual antonym of “classy,” which is along the lines of “trashy,” which would be totally offensive to say. She called wearing less clothes “trendy,” a cutesy word that isn’t inherently negative. “Trendy” is also pretty accurate, is it not? Earlier this year, E! Online declared 2015 the “age of the naked dress” and ran a poll asking readers to vote on their favorite naked dress of the night at the Met Gala, of all places. That’s how many women showed up in them. So where is Curry’s insult here?

My esteemed colleague Diana Ozemebhoya Eromosele thought that Curry’s tweets were evidence that she was “on her high horse” and her tweets had something to do with her marital status and being a mother.

Uh, did I miss a tweet? Because in the three I saw, Curry didn’t mention her children and just barely referenced her husband. There were no “Well, I’m married with kids, so I know best” airs about what she wrote, just what she liked. Period. Eromosele went further to suggest that Curry was insinuating that “women who dress more revealingly are showing off their ‘good stuff’ for people who don't matter.”

Wait, what?

Curry only commented on whom she shows her own lady parts. She noticed that a lot of people are wearing less, which is a fair observation. Again, she never said anything about anybody not mattering. She implied that her husband does to her. Shouldn’t he? I mean, he is her husband.

Some people used Curry’s tweets to make awful declarations about women and how they should behave. There were all sorts of folks adding in layers that weren’t in Curry’s original tweets, suggesting that if women covered up, they could have Curry’s life or be taken more seriously. There’s justifiable anger at those words, and the people making them should be held accountable. But again, that’s not what Curry said; those were randoms on the internet twisting her words. Hold them responsible, not Curry.

I wonder if the real issue here isn’t just what Curry wrote but what Curry represents in our culture. She’s a young, black, happily married mom of two. She and her media-friendly, Christian husband project what some might think of as the perfect relationship. They’re always posting goofy family videos of them loving on each other and the kids. She has something that a lot of people wish they had, and for that, some people have been looking for a reason not to like her. In some baffling way, they think that her recent set of tweets are a solid reason to rally against her and that doing so will hide their envy of her life.

For the record, it doesn’t.

Demetria Lucas D’Oyley is a contributing editor at The Root, a life coach and the author of Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love as well as A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. Follow her on Twitter.

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