Don’t Like Your BFF’s ‘Ratchet’ Fiance? You Should Still Be a Bridesmaid

Ask Demetria: Don’t ruin a friendship just because you don’t support your bestie’s choices.

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She’s in love. Maybe he’s right for her, maybe not. But she wants to marry him. That’s her choice. You don’t have to approve of her man. It’s not your man to approve or disapprove of. You’re not marrying him. She is. Stand up at her wedding and support her. And if it all goes to crap, support her. That’s what good friends—and she perceives you as such if she asked you to be in her wedding—do.

I get it: You have standards. One of them should be to treat your actual friends the way you would want them to treat you.

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor at The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life and the upcoming Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at