Scandal Recap: Pretty Hurts

Olivia’s hair and suits are perfectly pressed. Jake’s peacoat is lint-rolled to perfection. And Mama Pope’s dress suit hides a whole gun. 

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When Papa Pope tells Olivia, “Everyone is worth saving.” Papa Pope is really frustrated right now, most likely because his unemployment is running out. He was only willing to be a real dad for, like, three minutes, but he told Olivia what she needed to hear, all while looking fabulous in his black, easy-breezy overcoat with the popped collars. 

When Cyrus ugly-cries. This was so sad. The flashbacks of their love story show James as a feisty free spirit whose energy will certainly be missed. But for real, Cyrus didn’t spill a single tear on his blazer.

When Jake talks to James as he lies dying. Remember that part in the movie Avatar where the fake avatar also named Jake says a blessing to the deer he kills and it goes something like, “Your spirit belongs to Eywa, but your body remains so that I may take it to nourish the Na'vi people”? Jake Ballard staying with James until he dies is exactly the same thing, except the deer is James, the Na’vi people are the Republic, and no one’s hair and eyelashes could ever sparkle in the night like Jake’s.

Charla Lauriston is a standup comedian and the creator of Clench & Release, a Web series about the frustrations of everyday life in New York City. Follow her on Twitter.

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