Even if He Doesn’t Hit You, Emotional Abuse Is Just as Bad

Ask Demetria: Staying in an abusive relationship for the good of the family isn’t good for you or your family.

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Caring about your family does not mean you should sacrifice your mental health by staying with an emotional abuser who hasn’t hit you … yet. To care about your family, you need to be at your best for them. You can’t be that when you’re always putting yourself last and jeopardizing your emotional well-being.

He’s threatening you and you can’t help him with that. He needs to see a professional. Your mental strength is not fine. Reread your question. He talks to you crazy, but he doesn’t hit you—just threatens to, so it’s all good?

It’s not. You and your child need to leave. Go to a safe place, such as a friend’s or family member’s house. From that safe space, you can suggest to your boyfriend that he get help by speaking to a professional.

If he won’t get help, then you need to protect yourself and your child from abuse, including emotional abuse, by staying away from the situation and not continuing to put yourself, and your child, at risk.

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor at The Roota life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life and the upcoming Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at askdemetria@theroot.com.

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