Your Threats to Leave Won’t Stop Your Husband’s Infidelities

Ask Demetria: If you want to repair your marriage, you need to address the issues that are making both of you unhappy in the first place.

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Campbell has received a lot of flak for those comments from people who believe she is taking the blame for her husband’s affair, which she isn’t. There’s a marked difference between taking responsibility for his cheating and being accountable for her role in the breakdown of her marriage. 

Just because her husband handled his unhappiness with the marriage the wrong way doesn’t mean his feelings about the relationship with his wife are invalid. I’m sure that Campbell also has issues with her husband, in addition to his affair. He will need to take accountability for his shortcomings, too. Recovering from infidelity isn’t a one-way street.

Like the Campbells, you and your husband have a lot to unravel if you want to get out of turmoil and back to a healthy marriage. I suggest that you consider going to therapy as a couple so you can get beyond issuing threats and actually address the issues. And even then, acknowledging the problems isn’t enough—you will both have to change the way you communicate and treat each other if you want to be happily married again.

Good luck!

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor at The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life and the upcoming Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at

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