Because of Bipolar Disorder, I Wasn’t Sure I’d Make It to 25

My Thing Is: The diagnosis took away my sanity, my appetite, my type A personality and any certainty I had that I’d live to see this milestone.

Diamond Sharp Courtesy of Diamond Sharp

Bipolar disorder has taught me humility. What’s the worst thing that could happen to a type A personality who was really into control and emotionally stoic? BPD. You are no longer in complete control. I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that I am ill and that I’m no longer in complete control. 

“Living with a mental illness is a study in survival. Every day, every emotion is questioned. What is this? Am I happy or am I starting to head towards mania?” —Bassey Ikpi

2014 is the year I woke up. Depression can have a blackout impact. I feel as if I’ve just awakened, but the last time I was awake was sometime in 2011. Much of 2012 and 2013 is lost to me. Memories are flooding back, albeit fuzzy. Old traits are coming back. It’s as if old Diamond is desperately trying to get out. I hope she does.

On my 25th birthday, I’d like to thank everyone who helped me get here. The past three years of my life have put me through the wire.

Diamond Sharp is an editorial fellow at The Root. A version of this piece originally appeared on her blog, Shepherds Not Sheep. Follow her on Twitter.

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