If God Loves Me, Why Don’t I Have a Valentine?

If your life is built on faith, it can be disappointing when “waiting on God” for a mate turns into a very long wait.


We cannot accept the premise that those in relationships are more loved by God, or that those persons who aren’t in relationships are any less beloved.

So, where does that leave us on this Valentine’s Day?

Does that mean that prayer is pointless or that God is not going to come if we hold out and wait for God to move?

No. I believe that God still answers prayer and that God can still send you the love of your life. I am just saying that neither I nor anyone else can presume to tell you how God is going to answer your prayers. So, the last thing any of us should do is put our lives on hold until the perfect person comes or until you get to “your season.” Pray and keep moving!

If we believe that “for everything there is a season…” (Eccl. 3:1-8), then that means that you don’t have to wait on your season, because in God, every season is your season! It may not be wedding season, but God still has great things for your life.

I would never suggest that the longing for a life mate will magically go away. And your joy may, indeed, come from finding the right mate. But it may come from where you least expect it. 

Joy may find you as you adopt a child in need of a loving parent. Fulfillment may overtake you as you embrace and live out your calling, profession or public-service passion. You may see the face of God’s love in the possibility promised by each new sunrise, in the laughter of an innocent child, in the comfort and company of friends and family or in the pursuit of that dream that stirs in your soul.

God’s love letter to us includes this declaration that “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). And if you are a believer, you believe that God has already so loved you, that God has, indeed, already shown up and that you are already loved more than you could ever know.  

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Frances Cudjoe Waters is a United Methodist pastor as well as a writer, blogger and frequent lecturer with a focus on issues of faith and justice, culture and family life. She has written for The Root and the Huffington Post and blogs at BTransformed.com. Follow her on Twitter.