Hateful and Hurtful: Colorism Is Alive Within Our Kids

Parents, you need to teach your children to love the skin they’re in.

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My first experience with colorism as a child wasn’t exactly a personal experience. In our house, there were four kids, two light and two brown. My brother and I were the brown ones. It’s not as though we cared, either, or even noticed. We did things kids do on a daily basis: went to school, played, did homework, fought each other and then made up. We were never treated differently because of our skin color; nor were we teased about it.

But that’s not to say it was something I didn’t notice happening to other children.

In the 1980s, there was an influx of Haitian and Nigerian immigrants in our New Jersey town. We were exposed to different languages and different cultures in elementary school, but we were also exposed to kids being teased because of their dark skin.

In one instance that I remember, a light-skinned boy referred to a Haitian girl as a “dark monkey.” Every day, this boy in particular would torment and tease her about her skin color. Eventually other students would join him. During recess, she stood alone by a tree crying because of the constant teasing. Not only did I feel sorry for her, but it also made me realize that the issues people have with skin color start at an early age.

Fast-forward 30-something years later, and it seems as though the more things change, the more they stay the same. My sister, who is light-skinned, is the mother of a preteen boy. My nephew’s skin looks as though it were dipped in the finest dark chocolate. To say he is handsome would be an understatement. The fact that he wouldn’t harm a fly is one of the greatest things about my nephew. But none of that mattered to a classmate who teased him about his skin color.

The classmate, who is also black, referred to him as a “burnt french fry.” Thankfully, my sister was the one to overhear the comment and not my nephew, but it wouldn’t be the first time someone has talked negatively about his complexion. Although he doesn’t mention it much, he’s already been called “dark” several times by classmates. My sister tells him not to pay attention, but it hurts to know that kids not only are callous but also are attempting to tear down someone else’s self-esteem.

Black and brown people, listen up.

It’s bad enough that we’re sometimes discriminated against and ridiculed by other races, but it’s exceptionally sad when we do it to one another. Children pick up these nasty habits from somewhere, whether it’s in their own households or from other children, but it has to stop.

It doesn’t matter if children are being picked on because they’re too dark or too light. The fact is, our black children have enough difficulties to face in the world. Why rip them of their self-esteem so early? The child who is being teased because of his skin color can grow up to be an adult who’s full of shame and embarrassment.

Maybe the young girl who teased my nephew was also ridiculed at one point in her life because of her color, and now she’s dishing out what she was given. If there was one thing I wish I could do, it would be to give this girl a hug and let her know that there is beauty in all shades of blackness.