My Man Is Looking Through My Phone

Ask Demetria: Clearly your snooping boyfriend has trust issues. How you address the problem is key.


It’s unfortunate that he has these issues, but it’s a big (and irrational) problem, and you are not obligated to put up with it. Make him aware that the snooping has to stop. If he won’t quit, it’s (past) time for you to consider leaving him.

Trust (and communication) are the core foundations of any relationship. If he lacks trust, then it makes no sense for him to be there. And if you know he doesn’t trust you — not because there’s reason, but just because — it’s time for you to find a mate who will.

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at