You seem to be really concerned about not judging him, and I’m curious why it’s a problem for you. Clearly, his actions are outside your boundaries if you feel like you’ve “been hit by a freight train” upon hearing the news. It’s perfectly OK for you to judge his choices, and if the consequences are not acceptable to you, stop seeing him. You don’t have to be a perfect person — none of us is — to honor your boundaries and call it quits.
Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at email@example.com.