Yes, Black Women Can Get Along

She Matters: Despite what you see on reality TV, the bonds of sisterhood are strong.

Earlier this week, a friend’s father passed away. She, of course, was devastated. It was her sister-friend from college who was tracking down her friends-like-family to let everyone know what had occurred and keep us updated on the funeral arrangements.

When I showed up at her house to offer my condolences and just sit with my girl to keep watch, I discovered that I’d been beaten to the punch. There was already a pair of friends, actual sisters, holding her down with their presence and nurturing her with home-cooked food on the stove and wine in the fridge.

In retrospect, it’s been an eventful week in sisterhood for me. Over the weekend, I ran into a woman with whom I was once incredibly close before we had a falling out over something I can’t even recall now. There was no screaming or snarky goodbyes, just fewer phone calls and outings, until finally there were none.

It was an uncomfortable “hello” when I bumped into her at a party, but after a few awkward exchanges, we got to the heart of the matter. “You know if you ever needed anything, I’m still here, right?” she said. I told her I felt the same. We had a brief heart-to-heart in the middle of a day party, one that almost left me in (happy) tears over having finally fixed a tattered bridge that thankfully had not been burned.

As I write this, there’s a woman sleeping on my couch. We “met” as Twitter friends years ago, and she suggested that I attend a conference. Turns out, there weren’t any hotel rooms available, so she suggested that I room with her. After a quick reference check with mutual friends, I discovered that she was sane, so I took her up on the offer.

That was two years ago. We trekked to Austin, Texas, for another conference, South by Southwest, last month, and she’s turned out to be one of my closest confidantes — so close that she can stop by for a visit, make herself at home and knock out on my sofa while I’m working. When we chat, we disagree over plenty of things, but drag-out arguments or knockdown fights? Never.

As women, we need to share more of our positive interactions with one another to debunk the myths about all of us being catty and confrontational. If you rack your brain and don’t have any such moments to share, that says a lot more about you specifically than it does about women in general.

Editor’s note: This column has been updated to reflect the fact that Kim Osorio appears on VH1’s The Gossip Game, not Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. Follow her on Twitter.