Why You're Not Married, but Why That Doesn't Matter

Clutch magazine's Danielle C. Belton explains why lifelong commitment seems so tough to find these days -- and why it's not for everyone. 

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Clutch magazine's Danielle C. Belton explains why lifelong commitment seems so tough to find these days -- and why it's not for everyone.

... You can have the perfect (or imperfect) love for you at 25, but then later find the person you want to grow old with when you're 47. You can marry or not, but create loving, honest and meaningful relationships. And the key is that honesty. If you aren't cut out for forever and ever marriage, don't do it. Don't pretend like you can do it. And don't feel guilty for not being able to do it. It simply isn't for everyone.

Because of my parents' marriage, I desire what they have. I want a love that lasts forever. But in waiting for that love, I'm often lonely. Only time will tell if I'm better served by dating and waiting versus going through a series of love affairs and relationships and letting things go as they may. But if the serial monogamists and those not capable of faithfulness or those who want open marriages can be true to what they want, we can stop hurting each other -- at least in that way. We can look our partners in the eye and know what we're getting into, for better or worse, and plan accordingly.

If you want to go the distance, look for someone who honestly wants that, too, and work at it.

But if it's not for you, that's fine, too.

Read Danielle C. Belton's entire piece at Clutch magazine.

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Danielle C. Belton is a freelance journalist and TV writer, founder of the blog blacksnob.com and editor-at-large of Clutch magazine.

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