How Not to Be a Jerk to Your Interracially Dating Friend

Writing at xoJane, Nia Renee Hill says she doesn't want to answer, "Is what they say about black men true?" or any other inappropriate questions. 

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Writing at xoJane, Nia Renee Hill says she doesn't want to answer, "Is what they say about black men true?" or any other inappropriate questions.

DON'T ASK ME IF WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT BLACK GUYS VS. WHITE GUYS IS REALLY TRUE. WINK WINK.

Please don't go there. Let's just say I've been surprised about how UNTRUE it is. Also, I am not some census-taking [d--k] measurer, OK? While we can certainly generalize about the physical attributes of all races, penis size seems to be the most obsessed over. It's gross and unnecessary.

Also, you don't need to be all up in my sex life like that. I'm not the kind of chick who needs to go on and on about the size of a man's penis and those that do get an eyebrow raise from me. I had this one friend and I swear to God, every time she started dating a new guy he had the BIGGEST PENIS SHE HAD EVER SEEN. No, he didn't. Stop ...

DON'T ASK ME IF I'VE GIVEN UP ON BLACK MEN.

There seems to be this pervasive idea that if you date a non-Black man as a Black woman, then you must hate Black men. I've had Black women say to me, "Oh, you like WHITE guys!" as if they were unlocking the secret to my personality.

Even a childhood friend remarked very flippantly, "Oh, Nia only dates white guys," when she knew very well that wasn't true ...

DON'T ASK ME WHAT MY FAVORITE KIND OF GUY TO DATE IS.

Here's a sampling of the various types of men I've dated: Black, White (Irish, German, Italian), Jewish, Latino, and various combinations of all of the above. You want to know which were my favorites? The ones who didn't treat me like [s--t]. The ones who cared about me.

Read Nia Renee Hill's entire piece at xoJane.

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