Why Are ‘Frustrated’ Black Men in Brazil?

A film about African-American men seeking women fuels debate about the state of black relationships.

(The Root) — I blame World Star Hip Hop for this latest round of conversation so many people are having — again — about black American men going to Brazil to meet women and throwing American black women under the bus to justify it. I made it through all 47 minutes of Frustrated Black American Men in Brazil and noticed that the version I watched was uploaded in November 2012. Crickets.

World Star uploaded it March, and now I can’t click on any of my favorite black news sites without seeing a mention of it. It’s like being in a hair or nail salon in 2006 — the year Essence magazine ran an article about black men heading to Brazil to cavort with sex workers — all over again.

By putting some actual faces on an old issue, Frustrated gives more life to the never-dying conversation: the problems in black relationships (or, if you really want to alarm people, call it a “crisis”). It would be naive to pretend there isn’t a disconnect among some black people when you see the infighting on display in the comments section of any online article about nearly any subject.

And the issues here are deeper than those facing the general population, which has its own “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus” misunderstandings. At least those men and women are operating in the same galaxy. I’m not always sure if all black women and black men are. Case in point: this documentary.

Frustrated focuses on 10 or so various black men in Brazil — mostly guys on their first visit, but a few on their third, one who has been “18, 19 times” and one who set up shop two decades ago. To be fair, most of the men would be considered at least somewhat attractive to women in their age group, and all seemed reasonably intelligent, even if one of them — the guy who didn’t quite catch himself and called Brazilian women “hos” — reminded me of Damon Wayans’ prison character from In Living Color.

What they all had in common was a striking ability to blame black women for all their problems and to operate in a state of complete delusion about their popularity in Brazil.

Surely, we’re all so well versed in the stereotypes of black women that I don’t need to recount them in detail here. The guys rehashed all of them, assigned them to every breathing black woman on American soil and, in summary, decided that it’s too much of a headache to build a relationship with any black woman “back home.”

Out of all the stereotypes thrown about, one that kept coming up was the high expectations of black women. It seems that the American woman wants a man to, you know, work and contribute to a household, and she actually insists on getting to know a man before she allows him to hug her on the beach while she’s in her two-piece swimsuit. (That black American women, in general, don’t allow strange men to touch them on the beach was a seriously discussed complaint.) Apparently, black American women’s basic expectations, which all other communities of women also have, for a committed partner are too high, and they should just be happy that a man is present.